My favorite Tough Love question from the last eight years, the one I (somewhat inexplicably) recall most fondly, was from a woman whose boyfriend was grossed out that she used a pee rag鈥攁.k.a. reusable toilet paper鈥攚hile camping. We got a lot of impassioned reader feedback about that one: Pee is sanitary! Pee is gross! Bodies are normal! Women鈥檚 bodies in particular are gross! (OK, dude.) And though I鈥檇 phrase my answer differently now, I stand by the gist of it: If you don鈥檛 want your boyfriend weighing in on your wiping habits, don鈥檛 tell him about them. Wherever that couple is now, together or apart, I hope they鈥檝e figured out how to pee in peace.

The secret about an outdoors advice column, of course, is that it鈥檚 basically a regular advice column with the words 鈥渨hile camping鈥� tacked to the end of each question. Consider:

Should I break up with my boyfriend? He鈥檚 ignoring my boundaries while camping.

How do I stop hating my body while camping?

I鈥檓 desperately lonely. While camping, I mean. Obviously. Right?

鈥淲hile camping鈥� is 国产吃瓜黑料 magazine鈥檚 鈥渁sking for a friend鈥�: a framing that distances us just enough from our problems that we might gather the courage to speak them aloud. The questions that readers sent to Tough Love were almost never uniquely outdoors-specific. Rather, the outdoors served as both backdrop and shared language between asker and reader. A number of thru-hikers, climbers, kayakers, skiers, and runners wrote to me over the years, but their problems weren鈥檛 about, say, the best way to dry long johns over a campfire. They were about grief, illness, heartbreak, anxiety, and love. 国产吃瓜黑料鈥檚 community, more than anyone, should know that wherever we go, our shadows follow. And it鈥檚 often in the most spectacular places鈥攁 mountaintop at sunrise, a bonfire with friends鈥攖hat our worries are cast in the greatest relief.

And yet there is something unique about an outdoors advice column, less in the specifics of individual problems than in the way those problems reveal the contours of bigger, communal ones. By far the most common questions I received, again and again, were variations on two issues. First: I am a man, and I鈥檓 struggling to find and date women who are outdoorsy. Second: I am an outdoorsy woman, and men won鈥檛 date me because I鈥檓 better/stronger/faster than they are. It would be too simple to suggest that the writers of these letters meet, date each other, and thus solve all their problems, because it鈥檚 precisely the contrast between these two categories that reveals the root of the issue. What is it? Misogyny (or to phrase it as generously as possible for individual men: the sexist pressure on them to be more accomplished than their girlfriends or wives). Men, if you want to date outdoorsy women, there are plenty available鈥攂ut you might need to work on your insecurities first. As for women who date men? At least some of us are outta luck.

At the core, advice columns are gossip. It鈥檚 a myth鈥攁n excuse we tell ourselves, as part of the writer-columnist-reader triad鈥攖hat their purpose is to deliver wisdom to the letter-writer. Instead, the whole dynamic is a collaboration, an exchange. Readers rubberneck, reassuring themselves that although they make plenty of mistakes, they would never make that one. Alternately, they take comfort in the fact they鈥檙e not alone. And the letter-writer shares something vulnerable, under cover of anonymity, in exchange for being seen.

I never shared letter-writers鈥� identities, even with my editors. A few questions were written by celebrities. Some were sent by my friends. Some people were so cautious that they wrote in under fake names, from fake email addresses. And at least one question was my own. (A great exercise, in a tricky situation, is to imagine that you鈥檙e an advice columnist and someone sent in a letter about your exact situation. How would you reassure them? What would you recommend they do? And if you happened to write an actual advice column, wouldn鈥檛 you be tempted to publish the exchange?) There were questions, too, that I never had a chance to answer, either because they were too similar to ones we鈥檇 already published, or because they lacked context. 鈥淲hat do I do next?鈥� someone once wrote, as the entirety of their email. I just wanted to give them a hug.

Sometimes readers sent in advice for other letter-writers, pouring their hearts out over shared experiences, and I passed the messages along. Other times, folks corrected my takes, explaining details I鈥檇 missed or ways my response was short-sighted. Regarding a woman with asthma whose boyfriend accused her of abandoning him when she had to leave a campground due to wildfire smoke, I received, to Tough Love鈥檚 email address, this phenomenal piece of reader feedback: 鈥淭he fact that your advice to this poor woman was decent enough does not justify your presuming, as a dogsledder, to answer her deeply concerning plea.鈥�

I texted my friend a screenshot, delighted by the implication that dogsledders are uniquely bad at giving advice. 鈥淒oes she think that advice columnists go to鈥� advice column school?鈥� she texted back.

In fact, at the time I started writing Tough Love, I was just out of grad school, living on $18,000 a year and supporting a fledgling sled dog team. I鈥檇 written an essay鈥攁 love letter, really鈥攖hat went viral, and got passed around 国产吃瓜黑料鈥檚 editors. When they approached me about writing an outdoors relationship advice column, I felt like I鈥檇 won the lottery, and in a way I had: a steady freelance gig is practically as rare. I was on a road trip when I got the email. To give me practice, my now-husband read letters from Cosmo magazine aloud, tweaking details to make them outdoors-specfic. I still remember: 鈥淲hat do you do if you get cum in your eye,鈥� he asked me, 鈥渋n the woods?鈥�

I had no idea. Stick your face in a river? I googled it. Then I regretted googling it. I probably wouldn鈥檛 get that question, I reassured myself. On the other hand, what if I did? I didn鈥檛 want to guide people wrong. Or make their eyes hurt. I felt then about the column, and always have, an intense pressure to do no harm.

I suspect my primary strength as an advice columnist is that I don鈥檛 think I have all the answers. For some questions, I dug deeply into my own experience.Those columns are still raw and near to my heart, whether they鈥檙e about grief, being a woman alone in the wilderness, writing a memoir, or the fear of losing a dog. But more often, I used the questions as springboards to approach and interview people鈥攆amily members, friends, even strangers I admired鈥攚hose wisdom I wanted to both learn from and pass on. With particularly puzzling situations, I even brought up the questions at dinner parties, asking folks around the table to weigh in. It was in response to these strangers鈥� questions that people close to me shared some of their most tender truths. For that, I鈥檒l always be grateful.

At the close of the column, I think its greatest lesson, at least for me, is this: we should ask each other for advice more. The questions don鈥檛 even have to be our own. Share situations you鈥檝e read about, or heard about, or even seen on TV, and ask your loved ones what they鈥檇 recommend. Problems are inherently vulnerable; they invite vulnerability in return. You鈥檒l be surprised by how often people will take the invitation to say what they鈥檝e needed to say.

The post What Writing an Outdoors Advice Column Taught Me About Relationships appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

Get out the pack, Jack. Make a romantic plan, Fran. No time to be coy, Roy. OK, you get the drift.

With Valentine鈥檚 Day on the horizon, maybe you鈥檙e looking to impress someone with a night or two that will ignite the fire. We鈥檝e got you covered, with our favorite romantic getaways of all time. These trips are perfect for best buds and to save for future mates, too.

The 国产吃瓜黑料 staff have pretty much ditched the roses-and-chocolate rigamarole in favor of road trips to remote Southwestern desertscapes, ridgetop hikes, and fly-fishing excursions followed by steamy soaks in hot springs. Because, for most of us, nothing cements a relationship like听outdoor appreciation. If your partner doesn’t share the awe of a spectacular sunset, the joy of a sweaty mountain-bike ride, or the seduction of fireflies on a porch in Appalachia, we ask: Is that person really for you?

Here are some of the best romantic getaways that have sparked 国产吃瓜黑料 relationships and friendships over the years.

Isle Royale National Park

Location:听Lake Superior, Michigan

Price:听$7 per person, per day for backcountry permits; one-way ferry and sea plane fares from $90 and $275, respectively

Why We Love It: In 2020, I met the love of my life at the Rock Harbor Trailhead in northeastern Isle Royale, a national-park archipelago in Lake Superior. Due to pandemic restrictions, the isle was accessible only by seaplane, so I , for a solo, seven-day, 75-mile-ish backpacking trip. I had no concrete plans other than to criss-cross the island southwest to Windigo, hitting the bays, ridges, Superior shoreline, and interior lakes along the way.

I had just snagged a permit from the ranger station, strapped my fly rod to my pack, and was about to set off when I noticed a tall, blonde guy stumble out of the bushes. He was dirty, bug-bitten, sunburned, and full of trekking beta. I struck up a conversation: Where had he gone? How about the coolest vistas? Must-stop camp spots? Trails to avoid or take?

We talked for 20 minutes, and parted ways with smiles but no phone numbers鈥攎e, to the trail; him, to catch a seaplane out. A month later, he tracked me down on Linked In to see how my trip went. Six months later, we met up for a trail run in Sedona, Arizona. A year later, we got engaged and married. But here’s where it gets good: We returned to Isle Royale for our honeymoon.

From our seaplane drop in Windigo, we backpacked for a week, averaging about 14-16 miles per day, charging through both fresh and familiar territory up toward Rock Harbor. We started with the 30-mile in the southeast, where we encountered bull moose with five-foot racks in marshy spits, fields of purple, yellow, and red wildflowers, and turquoise Superior vistas from the fire tower. Then, we pushed north to , where we hunkered down on the lakeshore with freeze-dried chili mac and cheese, and slept under the stars to a symphony of howling wolves. After, we climbed along the spine of the island via the , stopping at Lake Desor to soak aching feet and rest, before trekking to in the west for an orange-sherbet sunset. We polished off our trip playing cards and hiding from cheek-reddening wind at Moskey Basin in our tent, before plunging into Superior and cracking cold beers from Rock Harbor’s camp store. It was tough to board our seaplane out, but we’ll be back throughout our lives. I can’t think of a better, more meaningful place to celebrate getting hitched. 鈥�Patty Hodapp, 国产吃瓜黑料 senior digital travel editor

Location: Southeast Utah

Price: Free

Why We Love It: When my wife and I discuss the formative months of our relationship, we inevitably begin to reminisce about a weeklong 2016 meander through southeastern Utah. A maiden road trip is the ultimate relationship test. Can we get along for hours on end in the car? Are our tastes in music compatible? Are we both comfortable with a blank itinerary and no clue where we鈥檙e going to eat or sleep each night? Pringles or Doritos? It was on the first day of that trip that we learned the answers: yes, yes, yes, Doritos. We were a perfect match.

If you were to ask us to pinpoint the location where everything fell into place, we鈥檇 also provide matching answers: , about two and a half hours south of Moab. Tucked between Bears Ears National Monument to the north and Goosenecks State Park to the south, this 152-square-mile plot of BLM-managed land is sometimes referred to as Little Monument Valley. Explore it via its 17-mile dirt access road and you鈥檙e quickly surrounded by the same massive sandstone spires you鈥檝e seen in countless westerns and postcards, but with hardly any other visitors competing for the photo ops.

We turned onto that road around 4 P.M., drove six miles in, and turned again onto a short, dead-end spur road, where we pitched our tent just beside a massive wash. Then we cracked open some beers and sat on the back of my car to watch the sunset. There were no other sounds in the universe save for the whoosh of an occasional breeze, and the colors changed every two minutes. Most people probably wouldn鈥檛 describe Valley of the Gods鈥� rugged, barren landscape as romantic. But for a magic half hour each evening, I can鈥檛 think of a more romantic place on earth. 鈥�Christopher Keyes, 国产吃瓜黑料 Inc. vice president and general manager, Outdoors

Los Poblanos Historic Inn and Organic Farm

Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico

Cost: From $350

Why We Love It: If a 25-acre lavender farm with wandering llamas, artisanal purple gin cocktails, and beautiful gardens and courtyards that the affianced dream of booking for their weddings doesn鈥檛 appeal to your romantic sensibilities, this place will change your mind. Los Poblanos is a lovely, quiet getaway from the whirrings of the world. I recommend it frequently to friends or generally anyone traveling through Albuquerque with time to spare.

My husband and I came here to celebrate an anniversary years before the media began bestowing it with awards, but we have returned a handful of times since, to enjoy family celebrations at its farm-to-table restaurant, Campo; sit down to a leisurely brunch (we can鈥檛 seem to order anything but the eggs Benedict鈥攖hose homemade English muffins are worth the hourlong commute); and take part in the convivial that are quickly booked by local Burque帽os and held at one or two very long tables.

Stay a night or two in a North Field room with a fireplace (make this request, as not all have them), but get there early enough to spend time out on the patio, surrounded by the rows of lavender, at their height in June, and watch the shadow of dusk fall slowly over the towering Sandia Mountains. If the weather鈥檚 nice, and it tends to be in Albuquerque, borrow a bike and ride along the Rio Grande. Make s鈥檓ores at the fire pit. Wake up late and walk the farm鈥檚 fields, visit the chickens. Savor the relaxed pastoral atmosphere. Time with your partner in such a setting can鈥檛 but work wonders. It has for us. 鈥�Tasha Zemke, 国产吃瓜黑料 associate managing editor

Lake Crescent Lodge

Location: Inside听Olympic National Park, Washington

Price: $211

Why We Love It: Lake Crescent is my happy place. Its perfectly clear, deep blue waters are ringed by majestic evergreens and framed by rolling mountains. The best spot along its perimeter is the , a white, Victorian-style property built in 1916. There鈥檚 a beautiful sunroom for grabbing drinks, and a verdant lawn rolls down to the waterfront, where Adirondack chairs are positioned perfectly for sunset viewing. There is also a sit-down restaurant on-site, but national park food always leaves something to be desired, so instead, my husband and I opt to grab takeout from Frugals, a burger drive-through in Port Angeles, and enjoy a picnic by the lake.

For my 25th birthday, we managed to snag a room in Lake Crescent鈥檚 historic lodge building. There are newer buildings and cabins on the premises that offer private bathrooms, but the original lodge, with its lace curtains and wood paneling, charmed us. Each year my husband grants me my birthday wish鈥攁 canoe paddle on one mountain lake or another. It鈥檚 the only day of the year he鈥檒l get in a watercraft with me, due to my hopeless paddling skills. After 20 minutes of me steering us in circles, he patiently does all the work to navigate us around the lake while I take pictures and eat sandwiches. It’s heaven.

That year we grabbed the earliest canoe rental possible鈥�7 A.M.鈥攁nd took off across Lake Crescent before any motorized boats ventured forth. The water was like glass, and early-morning fog rose from its surface. We peered down at submerged logs and skirted the shoreline to avoid the more than 600-foot icy depths with no sounds other than birdsong. 鈥�Mikaela Ruland, National Park Trips associate content director

Ojo Caliente and Taos Spa, Resort and Hot Springs

Location: Ojo Caliente, New Mexico

Price: From $239 per night; from $45 for soaks on weekdays

Why We Love It: Angie knew what was coming when we left Denver for an extended weekend getaway in Taos, New Mexico, a few years ago. We鈥檇 been together for three years and had spent the previous eight months discussing our future and The Big Question. It was time. We鈥檇 already picked out the engagement ring and planned an itinerary:听 Dinner at . A hike in the Sangre de Cristos. An afternoon in downtown鈥檚 plaza.

But our most anticipated spot was , a well-known spa resort west of Taos. We鈥檇 visited Ojo Caliente (Spanish for 鈥渉ot eye鈥�) the year before, and it immediately became our favorite hot springs. Seven outdoor geothermal pools of varying warmth surround a cool soaking pool and mud bath. The smell of burning cedar and mesquite waft through the grounds. Staff ask everyone to keep conversations to a whisper. And the compound is tranquil, tucked in among the pi帽on and cottonwood trees at the base of a rocky bluff and听surrounded by a network of hiking trails.

We kicked off our getaway by spending a day in relative silence, soaking in the hot water, enjoying each other’s company, and unwinding with a massage. We booked a private pool and ate at Ojo’s restaurant that evening. Two days later, we hiked up 13,167-foot Wheeler Peak and exchanged rings at the top, just as we had planned. 鈥�, 国产吃瓜黑料 articles editor

The Grand Traverse

Location: Grand Tetons, Wyoming

Price: Variable, depending on whether you do it yourself or use a guide company

Why We Love It: When my girlfriend and I started dating, we thought it would be a good idea to try the Grand Traverse, a 14-mile line across ten summits with 24,000 feet of vert. She had lots of experience climbing, but she鈥檇 never been on a multi-pitch adventure before, let alone a multiday alpine effort. For some reason, we decided it was a good idea anyway. Over three days in July, with the help of , we traversed the Teton skyline, moving fast over complicated terrain, camping in a tiny tent on small ledges, and relishing in the splitter weather. It was the kind of trip that either demolishes a relationship or hardens it into something that lasts. We’ve been together for nearly a decade since. 鈥�Matt Skenazy, former 国产吃瓜黑料 features editor

Granite Park Chalet

Location: Glacier National Park, Montana

Price: From $140

Why We Love It: When my wife and I got married in September of 2000, our grandparents weren鈥檛 happy. Not because they didn鈥檛 like our choice of partner, but because they couldn鈥檛 attend the wedding. The 7.6-mile hike to the remote site we鈥檇 chosen to tie the knot鈥擥lacier National Park鈥檚 historic 鈥攚as just too much. But we were enamored with the century-old stone-and-wood structure, located just west of the Continental Divide, atop a hill with sweeping views of Glacier鈥檚 peaks and valleys, scenery made even more spectacular by the light show that happens when the sun dips below the jagged horizon.

Our wedding party, just under 30 strong, trekked to the chalet via the , which hugs the famed Garden Wall, a sharp ridge that at the time was laced with glittering streams and sprays of wildflowers. If you find romance sleeping at tree line in an alpine wonderland, miles deep in the wilderness, Granite Park Chalet is your spot. But full disclosure: room service is not one of the perks. You鈥檒l cook meals on the chalet鈥檚 propane stove and schlep water from a nearby creek.

Yes, we pressed our wedding guests into pack duty, asking them to help us haul in three days鈥� worth of drinks and food. My mother-in-law-to-be baked a wedding cake on-site, and the bridesmaid decorated the chalet鈥檚 community dining room. But the collaborative spirit only added to the allure of holding our celebration here. How good was the reception? After seeing the pictures, even our grandparents were happy. 鈥�Dennis Lewon, 国产吃瓜黑料 Inc. director of content

Shenandoah National Park

Location: Near Sperryville, Virginia

Price: Variable, depending on whether you pitch a tent in the park (campsites from $30) or stay at a local Airbnb or hotel

Why We Love It: They say Virginia is for lovers. I haven鈥檛 traveled enough around the state to vouch for that, but I鈥檝e spent many weekends at this national park, and I think you could honestly say that the Shenandoahs are for soulmates. Just north of Sperryville, in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, there鈥檚 a dirt road that distances you from gas stations and billboards and delivers you to the base of a gorge known as . Each time my then-boyfriend and I set off on the modestly challenging two-mile trail, the hushed vibe instantly reset our moods and our rhythm.

There鈥檚 something different about this place, unlike other hikes I鈥檝e known, and how it sequesters you among the crowded trees, obscuring daylight. Away from the tensions of everyday life, it brought on an almost tangible expression of what filmmaker Jason Silva refers to as a 鈥�.鈥� We navigated moss-covered rocks and fallen trees, danced in a stream, gawked at what appeared to be bear tracks, geeked out at the geography, and paused solemnly at a cemetery.

We stayed at a rustic (and slightly terrifying) old cabin loaned to us by a friend. It had shoddy cell reception but was comfortingly close to the trail and replete with an outdoor shower, cast-iron cookware, firewood, and our hauled-in provisions. Sitting on the porch at dusk, we joked about DIY glamping听while sipping Champagne and watching fireflies the size of lanterns dance with the constellations. My memories have since outlasted that relationship, so 鈥渟oulmates鈥� may not be entirely accurate. But then, as with pretty much anything in life, it is what you make of it in the moment. 鈥�Renee Marie Schettler, Yoga Journal executive editor

Sun Mountain Lodge

Location: Winthrop, Washington

Price: From $172

Why We Love It:听 The magnificent views here have been awing guests for decades. Established in 1968 in central Washington鈥檚 Methow River Valley, the is an aerie atop a foothill boasting immense 360-degree vistas: the mountain terraces and spires of the North Cascades and thousands of acres of Okanogan-Wenatchee National Forest. Guest rooms and a dining room are built around those views. I鈥檝e been fortunate to stay here four times, teaching writing classes for the and hiking on glacially carved slopes where strong winds cause trees to grow sideways.

I have been here with friends and colleagues, but never a romantic partner: I wish! Instead, each time, I sent my husband and our two sons cascades of photos: Mount Gardner from my room, the horse ranch I can spy from my class, the nearby Lake Patterson, where people fish, and even the stuffed bison in the lobby (his name is Floyd) and the massive musk ox and caribou heads mounted above the fireplace. Every season has its charms: sunflowers and wildflowers in spring and summer, the brilliant red foliage of fall, and, in winter, snow (not to mention the annual , a 40K race that begins on the valley floor, continues on what鈥檚 touted as North America’s largest ski-trail network, and finishes at the lodge).

My husband would love to skate-ski here. We鈥檇 both like to tackle some of the daylong rock climbs around Mazama, 23 miles to the northwest. My friend Jill LaRue, a nurse who works the conference, mountain bikes the trails around the lodge. If you hadn鈥檛 packed for all of the recreational possibilities, you can square things away at the lodge’s sizable gear-rental shop. This being Washington, it is perhaps unsurprising that the salmon served at the lodge is always great. And if you have time for further exploring, you might try snacks and soup at the Rocking Horse Bakery and Little Dipper Cafe in the quintessential mountain town of Winthrop, ten miles east, or visit the funky cabin-like Mazama Store in Mazama. 鈥�Alison Osius, 国产吃瓜黑料 travel editor

The Highlands at Harbor Springs

Location: Harbor Springs, Michigan

Price: From $200

Why We Love It: I am turning 40 this month, and to celebrate, my husband and I are spending our first weekend away from our three-and-a-half-year-old. We didn鈥檛 want to travel too far, and we also wanted something that both felt luxurious and had skiing. That last bit was important鈥擨 was born and raised in Sun Valley, Idaho, and having recently relocated to northern Michigan from New Mexico, I thought our skiing options would be fairly limited.

But then I discovered the 鈥淒eer Valley of the Midwest,鈥� (formerly known as Boyne Highlands). Booked! We鈥檙e staying in a slopeside Gleneagles Ultra Luxury Suite in the resort鈥檚 historic and recently renovated main lodge, and I鈥檓 looking forward to the soaking tub, Italian linen sheets, bidet, record player, included breakfast, and ski-valet service. And the highlight: a snowcat-accessed moonlight dinner at the resort鈥檚 mountaintop North Peak restaurant the night of my birthday.

It鈥檚 not going to be the deepest skiing of my life, or even my season, but I can鈥檛 imagine a better way to turn 40 than a fancy, toddler-free ski weekend with my favorite ski partner. 鈥�, 国产吃瓜黑料 Inc. director of digital sales strategy

Red Cliffs Lodge

Location: Moab, Utah

Price: From $129

I didn鈥檛 actually go on a romantic getaway to just outside Moab with my partner. I went on a romantic getaway there with myself. But this lovely lodge鈥攔ecently acquired by Marriott鈥攈as been top of my list for a weekend with my husband soon.

Bonding over new experiences as a couple is awesome, and there are plenty of ways to do that at Red Cliffs. The lodge offers great amenities, and also serves as an adventure concierge. During my stay, I checked out the onsite and relaxed with a sound bath. The Lodge also arranged a guided canyoneering trip with , and an Arches stargazing photography tour at 1 a.m.

The lodge itself sits 25 minutes from the Arches entrance, 14 miles up Grandstaff Canyon alongside the Colorado River. And you don鈥檛 have to head into the town of Moab to go on a climbing, mountain biking, or hiking date. Climb at nearby Fisher Towers or boulder at Big Bend. Shuttle the Whole Enchilada. Take a hike on Grandstaff Trail. Or go for a scenic drive up into the La Sals.

No phone service, the pastoral setting, and the soothing sound of the Colorado River don鈥檛 hurt the romantic vibes either.

If you鈥檙e heading to Red Cliffs soon, keep in mind that the property is under renovation until early 2026, so some areas are closed and some offerings/amenities are temporarily on pause.听鈥�, Climbing editor in chief

Lake Creek Road Dispersed Camping Area

Location: Ketchum, Idaho

Cost: Free

Why We Love It: A few summers back, my boyfriend and I went on a quest for a weekend retreat in Idaho that led us just beyond Ketchum, to the Lake Creek Road camping area. Nestled along the eponymous creek, it became the perfect haven for a few days of mountain-biking adventures and tranquil post-ride relaxation. The beginner-friendly , which guided us to a mesmerizing听vista, was practically at our doorstep. The , weaving through sage and aspen, provided a captivating forested singletrack experience, revealing glimpses of the majestic Pioneer Mountains.

Also close by was Frenchman鈥檚 Hot Springs, an idyllic setting for rejuvenating soaks, enhanced by the refreshing flow of the nearby Warm Springs Creek. What made the getaway truly special was the sense of being off-grid, with no interruptions from cell-phone service, allowing us to fully immerse ourselves in the weekend. Evenings were spent reconnecting by the campfire under the incredibly bright stars. It was a much needed escape from the ordinary. 鈥�Sierra Shafer, Ski editor in chief

The New Mexico鈥揅olorado Borderlands

Location: The San Juan River and Pagosa Springs

Price: $500 for a day of guided fishing; rooms at The Springs Resort and Spa starting at $340

Why We Love It: Over Thanksgiving, my boyfriend booked a day of fly-fishing from a drift boat on the San Juan River, a fishery in northern New Mexico that鈥檚 well-known for its absolutely massive trout. There are a few area outfitters with similar offerings, like and . Neither of us had ever fished with a guide, and after countless long days wading upriver and tying rig after rig, it was a treat to have someone else do the dirty work so we could just fish. Then we drove through a blizzard to Pagosa Springs, Colorado, about an hour and a half away from the takeout, to stay at the听, where we soaked late into the night. The next day we caught little trout in the river below the resort and once again soaked until we were prunes. This is a good trip to take in the colder months, when there are smaller crowds on the (very popular) river. And the hot springs are that much sweeter when the weather’s unfriendly. 鈥�Abigail Barronian, 国产吃瓜黑料 senior editor

Cape Alava, Olympic Wilderness Coast

Location: Olympic National Park, Washington

Price: $8 per person per night for a backcountry-camping permit; park-entrance fee additional

Why We Love It: The northern stretch of Olympic National Park coastline is pretty much my favorite place on earth, period. It鈥檚 the place where I always feel totally present, which is the main reason I鈥檇 take a partner there for some quality time. The ocean, the remove from roads and other people, and the terrible cell service make the rest of my life seem very distant, and the world shrinks to the rocky beach, the waves, and my companions. The tide pools full of anemones, starfish, and other sea life in the large intertidal zone at Cape Alava make it my preferred spot, and you can pitch a tent at dozens of campsites strung out along the rocky beaches.

Starting at the Lake Ozette ranger station, it鈥檚 a three-ish mile hike through windblown forests and peat bogs on a well-maintained trail to reach the cape. The effort-to-scenic-payoff ratio is unmatched, and the mellow route to campsites on the coast avoids a few backpacking pitfalls that can spoil the romance鈥攏o one is going to bonk, it鈥檚 easy to loop back to the car for forgotten essentials, and the short distance means you can bring extra goodies like a bottle of wine or a small watermelon.

The downsides include the long drive to get there (five hours from Seattle, longer if you have to wait at the ferry), the hassle of , and potential storms and high winds once you鈥檝e arrived. Full disclosure: I鈥檝e never taken a partner here, just friends, although one friend I brought along did leave the coast as more than a friend, so make of that what you will. But if I ever wanted to spend a few days with a sweetheart, to simply enjoy the picturesque surroundings and each other鈥檚 company, I鈥檇 take them to Cape Alava. 鈥�Miyo McGinn, 国产吃瓜黑料 assistant editor

AutoCamp Joshua Tree

Location: Joshua Tree, California

Price: From $223

Why We Love It: Think of romance, and you might think of iconic destinations like Paris or Venice, but I feel most connected to my partner when we visit Joshua Tree. We recently stayed in for an overnight excursion to the high desert, and the amenities and proximity to the national park鈥攁 quick six miles鈥攎ade it one of our loveliest weekends together. The property鈥檚 Airstreams have been converted into trendy tiny homes but offer the novelty of vanlife. (And when you鈥檙e living out of your van in wintertime, there鈥檚 no complimentary hot cocoa and cider bar, as there is here the entire month of December.)

We had a great time in ours: the beds are plush, the bathrooms are large, and there鈥檚 heating and A/C. Also, every airstream unit comes with a private outdoor fire pit and dining area with a table and chairs, so you can cozy up next to your beau and toast with s鈥檓ores while stargazing up one of the darkest, most decorated skies in the world. Not interested in sleeping in a converted Airstream? Check out its cabins. AutoCamp is so romantic that it literally hosts weddings on-site at its large gathering space. It also hosts loads of activities, day and night, from themed hikes and new-moon soundbaths to concerts and cultural tours. 鈥�Emma Veidt, Backpacker associate editor

Garnet Mountain Fire Lookout

Location: Custer Gallatin National Forest, Montana

Price: $73

Why We Love It: More than 8,000 fire towers perched on high points across the U.S. at their peak in the 1950s, giving lookouts a vantage to spot the telltale curl of a wildfire start before it could spread. Today, only a fraction of those still stand. But at a few of them, backpackers can spend the night, enjoying panoramic views and stellar mountaintop stargazing for themselves.

For the first anniversary of our first date, the woman who is now my wife and I ventured up to one of those鈥�, elevation 8,245 feet鈥攖o try and claim some of that magic. From Bozeman, it鈥檚 a 26-mile drive to the 听and from there it was a 3.5-mile hike to the summit, through a conifer forest and wide-open mountain meadows that still held late-spring snow on their western faces. Before long we鈥檇 settled into the fire tower, a squat, two-story building with a woodshed on the bottom and a full wraparound porch surrounding the square living quarters on top. Furnishings were solid but spartan鈥攁 small pantry, a propane burner and wood stove, a table, and four bunks, each just big enough for two determined lovebirds to squeeze into. But when that night鈥檚 sunset lit the hills, I would have taken it over any palace. 鈥�Adam Roy, Backpacker executive editor

International Bonus: Hvammsvik Hot Springs and Northern Lights

Location:听Mosfellsb忙r, Snaefellsnes Peninsula, Iceland

Price: Soak from $38

Why We Love It: A couple of years ago, to celebrate our first wedding anniversary, my husband and I cruised around southwest Iceland for six days. We love a thermal-springs soak after hard hikes and trail runs, and prefer to dodge crowds and drive less, so this smallish outdoor mecca was a no-brainer addition to the end of a stint in Ireland.

We rented a Dacia Duster 4X4 with a rooftop tent in Reykjav铆k ($900 for five days, tricked out with sleeping and cooking essentials and a hot spot for GPS, via ) and headed out with no agenda except to explore the country’s remote terrain rich with waterfalls, lava fields, alpine valleys, and camping spots. A few days in, we decided we needed a geothermal soak. So we headed west along offshoot F-roads (F听for听蹿箩盲濒濒, which means 鈥渕ountain鈥� in Icelandic) to on the Snaefellsnes fjord. There, we spent hours hopping from one pool to the next, mowing down salads from its on-site bistro, and sipping champagne from its swim-up bar鈥攇lorious rewards after miles on backcountry trails. After we plunged into the Atlantic to scrub our dirt and sweat away, we scored a campspot nearby, made pasta on the stove, and kicked back to watch the most dazzling five-hour northern lights show we’ve ever seen. All told, we’ve been lucky to share lots of romantic moments in stunning places worldwide, but this memory tops our list. 鈥摈.贬.

International Bonus: Kasbah Tamadot

Location: Atlas Mountains, Morocco

Price: From MAD 7,550 per night (roughly US $775)

Why We Love It: As a couple, it can be tempting to take the easy route when traveling overseas, the road more traveled. Relationships are adventurous enough. Why add more blind corners?

Sometimes, though, it pays to explore the back roads.

Such was the case for my wife and I during a delayed honeymoon to Morocco, two years after we were married. Neither of us had been to the North African country when we decided to spend a week in Marrakech, a well-trodden tourist destination that somehow remains as mystical as it must have been when 16th century sultans ruled it. Today, the medina is full of souks selling Berber rugs, piles of spices, and elaborate kaftans鈥攏ot to mention a long list of bougie hotels. Basically, you know it鈥檚 going to be comfortable, even for my wife, Keren, whose idea of roughing it is an outdoor massage.

Me, I鈥檓 a sop for 鈥渙ff-the-beaten path鈥� experiences. I can鈥檛 think of anything more boring than an afternoon massage, which is why I insisted on spending at least a few nights in the mountains outside of Marrakech. So I decided unilaterally, because I was in charge of reservations, to book us into , a private home turned remote retreat overlooking a river valley in the foothills of the Atlas Mountains.

The resort, an hour and a half outside of Marrakech, is centered around a large 1920s riad, a traditional Moroccan house with rooms surrounding a central, tiled courtyard. The grounds of Tamadot include gardens, an oversized pool, fancy Berber tents for glamping, and a little farm with camels, donkeys, and chickens, among other critters. There鈥檚 even a Turkish bath and spa. Despite the extensive grounds and long list of upscale amenities, everything about Tamadot feels intimate, like being welcomed into a family home, one with multiple fountains covered in floating flower petals.

Oh, it also happens to be owned by Richard Branson, whose mom fell in love with the riad years ago, so he bought it and transformed it into the oasis it has become. Let鈥檚 be clear, this isn鈥檛 exactly the road less traveled, despite its surroundings, but Tamadot was my concession to my wife, so I could do all the other things I wanted to do.

The end of the valley, for example, is a popular launch point for trekking in the mountains, including to the summit of Toubkal, the highest peak in North Africa. With Kasbah Tamadot as our base camp, we were easily able to explore the valley鈥檚 upper villages, including Imlil, which is often referred to as the Moroccan Chamonix. After a hike on our first full day, we were welcomed into a local’s home that doubled as a makeshift restaurant. We sat next to a low table on elaborately-sewn cushions and were served a traditional vegetable tagine, heated over a wood fire in the backyard. The vegetables鈥攃arrots, potatoes, peas, and zucchini鈥攚ere cooked to perfection, and served with a platter of steaming couscous. Keren, as a vegetarian, had been struggling to find food she liked for days, even in Marrakesh. Here, after a long hike, we finished even the last bite.

The following day, we visited a woman-owned cooperative producing and selling argan-oil products鈥攕oaps, moisturizers, and other cosmetics. We bought a bag-full of their wares. In the afternoon, I hiked up a ridgeline while Keren visited the animals at the farm. On our final day, I arranged a motorcycle tour鈥攕et up through the tourism company 鈥攖hat would take us through the mountains to the Agafay Desert.

In the U.S., Keren wouldn鈥檛 get on a motorcycle if ashes from a volcano were about to rain down on us. 鈥淭hose things are death traps,鈥� she kept saying in advance of the day. But when our driver, Hussein, pulled up to Tamadot鈥檚 front gate on a Chang Jiang 750, a vintage Chinese bike outfitted with a leather-seated sidecar鈥攐ne that happens to be stylish as hell鈥攖he magic of the moment took over. We both saddled up and spent the entire day on the motorcycle, careening down dirt roads, visiting a small village in the desert with an ancient mosque, and walking through a narrow, ancient souk. The vendors and locals stared at us every step of the way, as if we were the first foreigners they鈥檇 even seen. We bought candy and shared it with local kids running on the streets.

Halfway through the day, we stopped at the home of a prominent Iman now occupied by his great-grandson. Our host served us wild mint tea and cookies, pouring the kettle from high above his head into small cups held below his waist. It was the traditional pouring style, he explained, a sign of hospitality and respect, because the long pour created foam on top of the tea to catch the dust in the desert air. I鈥檝e never felt a more welcoming gesture.

Back at the resort that evening, the staff of Kasbah Tamadot had left a bottle of Moroccan grenache and glasses on our nightstand, along with rose petals on the bed. The forced romance might have felt mawkish, but after a long day on the bike, we sat silently on the terrace with a glass each, watching the sun disappear.

After two years of marriage, it was clear we had both fallen in love again鈥攚ith a new country, slightly expanded versions of ourselves. A simple willingness to explore, despite our reservations, brought us together in a way that no ceremony could.

The next morning, I even ventured over to the spa, hand in hand with my wife. 鈥�Ryan Krogh, 国产吃瓜黑料 contributing writer

The post 18 Romantic Getaways That Are Far Better than Roses or Chocolate appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

After moving to Steamboat Springs a year and a half ago from my native city of Denver, I fell into learning what 鈥渃ommunity鈥� really means. It鈥檚 not, (thankfully), about joining the PTA or going to town hall meetings.

It鈥檚 about having Kelli, the Safeway pharmacist, in my text thread in case her four kids need to be shuttled somewhere after her hip surgery. It鈥檚 about dropping beers off to Mikey, the car mechanic, in exchange for a tire repair. It鈥檚 about the woman at the post office who offers to pay for your lost package from her own pocket. These everyday interactions become meaningful entry points into this town, like capillaries that lead to larger veins and then arteries. Everyone is someone, and we鈥檙e all connected somehow.听

And because this small town is also Ski Town USA, the blood that flows through it all is our favorite winter sport, and there鈥檚 nowhere you feel the connection pulsing stronger than the annual Ski Swap.

Technically, the Ski Swap is a used gear sale and fundraiser for the Winter Sports Club, which breeds Olympians (more than 100 to date). It鈥檚 held every fall at the base lodge of Howelson Hill, the oldest continuously operating ski hill in North America, home of two year-round Nordic jumps, and the training ground for said Olympians-to-be. Not-so technically, it鈥檚 a town rager, albeit without the hangover.听

鈥淓lise, go for the Elans!鈥� a middle-aged dude in a beanie shouts over G-Love and Special Sauce blasting from the outdoor speakers. The racks of skis are all outside, mostly organized by brand, and the place is absolutely mobbed. I鈥檓 stalking the Blizzard rack, as I have a pair I鈥檓 hoping to sell but I鈥檓 afraid they鈥檙e priced too high. 鈥淐areful鈥攕omeone tuned the hell out of these,鈥� says another middle-aged man to his daughter near one of the race-ski racks, where wasp-waisted slalom and GS skis with World Cup tunes threaten both fingers and down jackets.

And then I鈥檓 hit with the sounds of juxtaposing calls, 鈥淭hese are 10 years old and there鈥檚 barely any edge left,鈥� a familiar voice behind me says. 鈥淏ut they鈥檙e only $50鈥︹�� It鈥檚 my ex-brother-in-law鈥檚 brother-in-law, naturally. I turn around and give him a quick hug. 鈥淵ou want these bindings? I鈥檒l give 鈥檈m to you for $25,鈥� he says. We talk about Christmas plans, and then he breaks into a smile at someone behind me. I turn around to see my physical therapist looking for skis for her son, Colin, who鈥檚 outgrown everything he owns. Colin ran cross-country with my daughter, who鈥檚 a year older than he and, thankfully, she鈥檚 mostly done growing.

I walk back inside, past the Nordic jumping skis that look like 10-foot-tall tongue depressors, through the ski boot room with so many kids crouching on the floor it could be a pi帽ata party, and up the stairs to the softgoods. 鈥淚 told this kid I鈥檇 buy him dog food for a year if he let me name his puppy Captain America,鈥� says another recognizable voice at the top. My friend and former coworker鈥檚 dad, a shaggy-haired guy in mud boots and a fuzzy flannel, then introduces me to his neighbor.

Past the back protectors, speed suits, full-face helmets, regular helmets, and outerwear, I set my sights on the vintage ski sweater table, where treasure surely awaits. My path to it, however, turns into the kind of beeline that an actual bee would make if she showed up drunk to mating season. I talk to the guy with a handlebar mustache who offered me kind words of encouragement after knee-replacement surgery, to my friend Lynn whose daughter is besties with my daughter, to a couple I met who were also trying to cut through the baseball field to avoid the parking lot mayhem, plus a guy I鈥檝e met a few times but never knew was on the U.S. Ski Team who tells me the new Indian food place is a little hit or miss.听

The serotonin flooding my brain from all this warm fuzziness makes me wonder what it is about this town that makes people nicer. Anonymity doesn鈥檛 exist here, which keeps people on their best behavior. There鈥檚 also no soul-sucking traffic, which can鈥檛 be underestimated as a cause for dickishness. But it鈥檚 more than that.听

These veins we share, with skiing coursing through, somehow put us all on the same side, regardless of politics or paychecks. I鈥檓 not saying that small rural towns don鈥檛 have their issues. They do. Because when everyone is someone, that means you are, too.听

I never make it to the vintage sweater table. I push my way down the stairs and squish back through the soggy field to my car. I am empty-handed, yes. But I know this winter, when I tromp into the T-Bar after a huge powder day, I鈥檒l have even more people to clink beers with, and that鈥檚 even better than new (to me) gear.

The post Nothing Brings My Community Together like the Local Ski Swap appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

The flakes are falling, the lifts are spinning, and skiers and snowboarders are settling back into their routines鈥攁nd their slopeside habits, good and bad. As a skier who has spent winters while single at Bridger Bowl, Taos, Sugar Bowl, and beyond, I’ve learned that the ski hill is a pretty good place to find a date and a great place to decide if my latest crush is worth my time. You can learn a lot about a person based on how they behave on the mountain. If you’re scoping out potential honeys at the resort, you need to be on your best behavior. I’ve observed enough horrendous鈥攁nd charming鈥攕ki behavior to last a lifetime, so for the greater good of snow-oriented single folks, I’ve compiled some of my greatest hits鈥攁nd 鈥攊nto a helpful list.

I’ve organized them into two categories: smash and pass. An attribute or person that鈥檚 attractive is a 鈥渟mash;鈥� one that isn鈥檛, 鈥減ass.鈥� Think of it as turn-ons and turn-offs when it comes to on-hill etiquette, style, and overall vibes. I bring you: Smash or Pass: The Ski (or Snowboard) Edition.

Putting in the effort to decide together which runs to ski

It鈥檚 annoying to be dragged around the mountain by someone who doesn鈥檛 ask where you want to go, and it鈥檚 just as annoying to make all the decisions for a ski buddy who鈥檚 鈥渇ine with whatever.鈥� It might not seem like a big deal, but collaborative decision-making processes are hot.

Blasting a speaker on the lift

Nothing against music, I just want the option to not listen to yours.

Wearing a helmet听

What can I say, safety is sexy. Even more so if you鈥檙e wearing the goggles over, not under (don鈥檛 @ me).

Unless we’ve been dating for a very long time, asking me to follow behind you with my phone while you hit jumps is showing off听at best and condescending at worst. I don鈥檛 care how cool your cork 180 is, I鈥檓 not your videographer.

Wanting to lap the baby park

I don鈥檛 want to film your cork 180, but I鈥檒l suck at my own 360 with you at the baby park any time of the day.

Gear-splaining

Gear-splaining is like mansplaining,听but about gear (people of all genders can do it). I’m a gear editor鈥攊t鈥檚 literally my job to talk about gear鈥攁nd even I know it鈥檚 not a good look to lecture people about their kit.

Taking French fry breaks

Some days are for bell-to-bell skiing, others are for taking a few laps and then eating greasy resort food the rest of the day and hiding out from the rain (or cold, or crowds). If you’re not down to take a few breaks here and there鈥攑ass.

Rolling up to the resort parking lot with snowmobiles on their truck bed

We get it, you sled.

Making sure the new skier or snowboarder isn’t left behind

Hanging back with the slower or new skier in the group so they don’t feel excluded (instead of bombing down the hill to show off in front of everyone)? That physically turns me on.

Ski resort and gear stickers absolutely covering their car

One or two is fine, but covering your car with stickers from all your expensive gear and far-flung ski trips is a little braggy. To be honest, the car shown above is a slightly different vibe鈥攎ore kooky and charming. Could even be a smash. But swap those hippie stickers with ones from Arc’teryx and heli-skiing operations? Pass.

*Specifically for dudes: Hyping up the girl squad

You鈥檙e right, we are good skiers, and it鈥檚 so much more fun for everyone when, instead of being threatened, you genuinely want to hang.

Saying 鈥渘o friends on a powder day鈥� unironically

Honestly, even saying it ironically is kind of annoying.

Sharing lift snacks

Bonus points if you help me finish my beer before the chair ride is done. Double bonus points if you have pocket bacon. Which is not to say I’ll eat anything you’ve stashed in your jacket鈥�start pulling out carrots sticks and cold leftover garlic fries, and I’m out.

Heckling strangers from the chairlift

I love trolling my friends, but don鈥檛 be a dick to people you don鈥檛 know.

The post Ask A Skier: Are My On-Mountain Vibes a Smash or a Pass? appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

In a comedian Isabel Hagen quipped, 鈥淚 once matched with a guy on a dating app who had climbed Mount Everest. Twice. And he was still single. Using an app. That鈥檚 how hard dating is holy shit.鈥�

Online dating听is not without its challenges: you must fend off unsolicited sexts, small talk your way through boring dates, and avoid your coworkers鈥� profiles like the plague. You go on the same dates, tell the same stories, and cycle through excitement and disappointment so often you feel like you鈥檙e in Groundhog Day.

Mount Everest is also not without its challenges: you must pack a lot of gear and coordinate a lot of travel and permits to make your attempt on the world鈥檚 highest mountain. You need to be strong, resilient, and able to keep a cool head in serious situations. Extreme weather, high altitude, and treacherous terrain all up the ante. But in recent years, an Everest summit has become less of a badge of honor for the world鈥檚 best mountaineers, and a bit more like a for-purchase feather-in-the-cap for the wealthy. With guide companies that cook for you, carry your gear, plan your route, tie your knots, and walk you up the mountain, do you really have to be that skilled, or tough, to make it to the top these days?

Summiting Everest twice鈥攁nd putting it on the main page of your dating profile鈥攊s a red flag. (This excludes those who work on the mountain. If you鈥檙e a guide, call me ) If anything, we鈥檇 encourage you not to date an Everest climber. Here鈥檚 why:

1. Doesn鈥檛 clean up after himself. If Everest is littered with trash and feces, what do you think this man鈥檚 apartment looks like?
2. So. Much. Baggage. And he always has someone else carry it.
3. Compulsive need to be on top. Plus, he鈥檚 clumsy .
4. Refers to his apartment as 鈥�base camp.鈥� And uses 鈥渆verest鈥� as a verb.
5. Blows his money on expensive impulse purchases 鈥�.鈥�
6. , but wears sandals anyway.
7. Terrible tan lines. Have you seen glacier glasses?
8. Used to standing in long lines in inclement weather and expects you to be cool with it too.
9. Calls his favorite dance move the 鈥�Hillary Step.鈥�
10. Tries to sext with a Garmin InReach.
11. is the suit he wore to your sister鈥檚听wedding.
12. Constantly getting prayer flags stuck in the ceiling fan.
13. Corrects you whenever you mispronounce 鈥�.鈥�
14. Honestly, just smells like ass.
15. Pronounces 鈥溾�� the ANNOYING way.
16. Has an Ed Viesturs hanging in his bedroom.
17. Overuses the word 鈥�.鈥�
18. Wants to go to 鈥渉is place鈥� but sleeps in a high altitude chamber.
19. But on the plus side: He doesn’t object to being tied up.

The post Why You Shouldn’t Date an Everest Climber appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

Welcome to Tough Love. We鈥檙e answering your questions about dating, breakups, and everything in between. Our advice giver is Blair Braverman, dogsled racer and author of . Have a question of your own? Write to us at听toughlove@outsideinc.com.

I love nature and sports and my husband is, how do I say it, more of a screen guy. He likes watching and re-watching shows and gaming, and he does so for several hours most days of the week. He contributes equally to finances and chores, so there isn鈥檛 a problem with his household contribution, but I can鈥檛 help feeling that he鈥檚 wasting his life away when he鈥檚 young and healthy and he鈥檒l someday regret it. I also feel like being outdoors is inherently good and he does so little of it. Is there a nice way for me to say something without being a nag?

When I was a kid, my dad was very concerned with me being productive. He had a mental list of productive activities (reading, art, schoolwork, socializing with friends, any sort of sport, and so on) and non-productive activities (鈥測ou鈥檒l know,鈥� he told me), and though I wasn鈥檛 forbidden from doing the latter, I could usually sense his unease until I switched to something from the first list. Eventually I hacked the system, because I realized that the activity he thought was most productive鈥攁bove all else鈥攚as thinking. When I heard his footprints coming down the hall, I鈥檇 hide the catalog I was flipping through (or whatever else 鈥渦nproductive鈥� task I was engaged in) and simply sit on the floor with my hands in my lap, doing nothing. Then, when he asked what I was doing, I鈥檇 say I was thinking. Thinking! He was immediately excited. Did I need anything?, he鈥檇 ask. A glass of water? And when I shook my head, sagely, he would scurry away鈥攍oathe to keep interrupting鈥攁nd I鈥檇 have a few solid hours of time to amuse myself in peace.

As an adult, I鈥檝e often reflected on this expectation of productivity, which was one of my defining experiences of childhood (and which has since become an ongoing joke with my dad). Overall, I think it served me well, with a few big caveats鈥攏amely that when I鈥檓 sick and can鈥檛 do things, I feel terrible about myself, which is not super conducive to either recovery or self-esteem. And while my father鈥檚 broad definition of productivity would certainly include resting when you need it, I鈥檝e found it helpful to come up with my own personal guideline for activities鈥攁 little check-in, if you will. I ask myself: Is this activity productive, or restful, or fun? If yes to any of those, I keep at it. If no, I might start thinking about changing course sooner rather than later. (Incidentally, most of the things I choose to do fall into one of those three categories鈥攁nd the ones that don鈥檛, like doomscrolling on my phone, tend to make me feel actively bad if I do them for too long. So the check-in is a good reminder to put down the phone and go for a walk or call a friend instead.)

I suspect you see where I鈥檓 going with this. Is your husband experiencing his television and gaming time as fun? If so, then it鈥檚 a positive thing in his life! It might be different from your idea of fun, but one person鈥檚 fun isn鈥檛 better or worse than someone else鈥檚; it鈥檚 just a matter of taste. The only change needed here is for you to do some reflection about why your husband鈥檚 recreational activities bother you so much, and how you can learn to relax and let go about it, both for your sake and his鈥擨 think you鈥檒l both be a lot happier. (And for what it鈥檚 worth, when I mentioned your question to my dad, he said “Studies have shown that video games have a number of tangible benefits!鈥� So there you go: even Mr. Productivity gives your husband the stamp of approval.)

If your husband isn鈥檛 experiencing the television or games as fun, then I鈥檇 be slightly concerned. Not because there鈥檚 something wrong with what he鈥檚 doing, but because he might be using it to cope with something else, like depression or burnout. In that case, the shows and games might still be helping him, because sometimes the best thing you can do for your health is literally anything that helps you get through a hard day, week, or year. But if his habits have changed recently, or you notice other ways that he鈥檚 struggling, it鈥檚 worth checking in on how he鈥檚 feeling, and asking if there鈥檚 any way you can support him in getting help.

Now, I want to address the last thing you said, about the outdoors being inherently good. That鈥檚 something I agree with strongly. I think just about anyone could benefit from a greater connection with fresh air and nature鈥攂ut I don鈥檛 presume to suppose what that connection should look like.

Instead, I think of the benefits of nature as being similar to the benefits of, say, music. A connection to music can enrich just about anyone鈥檚 life, but the details of that connection itself are highly individual. Some people play an instrument鈥攁nd of those, some love drums and others love viola. Some people sing for a living, and others sing only in the shower, or when something good comes on the radio. Some people listen to metal and others like folk. But regardless of what someone鈥檚 connection to music looks like, it鈥檚 almost always a force for good in their lives, in part听because听it鈥檚 so personal.

That鈥檚 like nature. There鈥檚 no one relationship to it that鈥檚 right. You may have an intense and active connection to the outdoors, and your husband鈥檚 may be far subtler鈥攎aybe he grows succulents, or loves cats, or enjoys thunderstorms, or looks up throughout the day to smile at hummingbirds through the window. If you want to nourish his connection to nature and the outdoors, it鈥檚 worth figuring out what that interest actually is鈥攚hat he thrives on鈥攁nd doing what you can to support it (get a new hummingbird feeder!). It may look incredibly different than yours, but that doesn鈥檛 mean it鈥檚 worse. It鈥檚 his, and for that reason alone, it鈥檚 perfect.

The post I Love the Outdoors, but My Husband鈥檚 a Screen Guy appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

Can a relationship survive a grand adventure? That was the big question hanging over two novice sailors as they set out on a voyage off the coast of New England. It all began when Claire Antoszewski had the idea to refurbish an old boat with her partner Will Grant, a man who is most comfortable on a horse. With dreams of a leisurely cruise, they got to work鈥攁nd soon found themselves at the helm of the Lower Goose in high seas and nasty weather. Not surprisingly, they have different takes on what happened. In this episode of our Summer Read series, we hear both sides of the story and learn some lessons about how to carefully mix romance and risk.

This episode was brought to you by Costa Sunglasses, designed to help you make the most of your time on the water. Find the frame for your pursuit at .

The post Summer Read: Testing Love on the Open Sea appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

Is there something about adventure and risk that opens our hearts? Absolutely. In this episode, created in concert with an 国产吃瓜黑料听, we bring you tales of romances that bloomed outdoors. You鈥檒l hear about two ultrarunners who fell for each other during a 60-mile dash through the Alps, a high-altitude climber who led her wary date down iced-over ski runs (it all worked out eventually), a pair of whitewater kayakers whose attraction for one other caused them to ignore an approaching forest fire, and a cyclist who suffered a brutal accident that led him back to his soulmate.

This episode is brought to you by Aruba, an island in the Caribbean that offers so much more than a vacation. Learn more about what awaits you at this very special destination at .

The post How We Find Love in Wild Places appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.

I met the love of my life on September 2, 2020, at a trailhead on Isle Royale, a remote national park in the middle of Lake Superior, only accessible by seaplane during the pandemic.

A pilot flew me from Grand Marais, Minnesota, to Rock Harbor, the park鈥檚 entry port on the northeast tip of the island, in his Cessna 206. My plan? To pull off a seven-day, point-to-point, 75-mile solo backpacking and fly-fishing trip. I added fuel canisters to my pack, grabbed my permit from the ranger, and was just about to shove off when a tall, lanky blond guy stopped nearby, on his way off the island.

He was dirty, sunburned, alone, and seemed to be chock-full of trekking beta. I couldn鈥檛 help myself. 鈥淗ey!鈥� I called. 鈥淗ow was it?鈥� Little did I know, those four words forever altered my life.

鈥淚t was awesome,鈥� he said, grinning. Taking the opening, I grilled this guy, Ryan, about his five-night trip, during which he ran ultra-length distances on the island鈥檚 overgrown singletrack. Did you see any moose? How 鈥檅out wolves? Did your tent survive the gale-force storms?

We chatted for 20 more minutes about our mutual love of seeking out solitude in the woods, then we parted ways鈥攈e was eager to catch the seaplane out, I was keen to bag 14 miles before dusk. I thought we鈥檇 never see each other again.

Call it fate听or coincidence, but two weeks later he found me on LinkedIn. A few months after that, we met up for a hike in Sedona, Arizona, which turned into a six-month, coast-to-coast, trail-running road trip together. Since then our adventures have only grown richer. We鈥檙e planning to return to Isle Royale after our wedding this summer.

Ryan and I aren鈥檛 unique in the way we met. This spring we to readers for their meet-cutes听and got an an overwhelming response from couples who have been together for decades, those freshly in love, and every kind of relationship in between. The one thing we all share is that adventure brought us together. Here are the most jaw-dropping, hilarious, and heartwarming outdoor love stories from our 国产吃瓜黑料 audience.

Intersecting Paths on the Camino de Santiago

Ginny and Benny Truscott met at Bar Restaurante Cubasol in 2011 in Astorga, Spain. Benny was cycling the Camino de Santiago in reverse, toward his home in Belgium, finishing a charity ride in honor of his late wife. Ginny, from University Place, Washington, had lost her husband several months before. She heard about the Camino from a friend and set off to hike the final 62-mile section from Sarria to Santiago de Compostela to heal and rejuvenate. Before Ginny began trekking, she toured northern Spain鈥檚 biggest cities, including Astorga.

The night they met, Ginny entered the bar ravenous, with a language-translation book tucked under her arm鈥攁n aid to help her order food. Benny tapped her on the shoulder and asked if she spoke English. Relieved, Ginny said yes. The two shared dinner, chatted about the heartaches of losing partners prematurely, then parted ways in opposite directions: Ginny to hike west, and Benny to cycle east.

But they couldn鈥檛 stop thinking about each other. A few days later, Ginny contacted Benny on his blog. They emailed back and forth and decided to meet for Ginny鈥檚 final miles leading into Santiago, the trail鈥檚 official end point. Benny whipped his bike around, hammered hard to get to her in time, and walked with her into town. After a couple days in Santiago, they parted ways again: Ginny to Rome, which she had plans to explore after the Camino, and Benny back to Belgium.

A week later, as Benny cycled by the Toulouse, France, airport, he gave Ginny a call, and she agreed to an impromptu visit. He bought an $800 day-of plane ticket leaving from Toulouse, stashed his bike at a train station, and met her in the Italian capital.

Their friendship grew and developed into a long-distance relationship. They talked daily. Time passed, visits ensued, and in 2014, Benny emigrated to the U.S. on a fianc茅 visa. They married fewer than three months later and introduced their grown children to each other on a trip to Italy鈥檚 Amalfi Coast. Now retired, they adventure and thru-hike all over the world and haven鈥檛 looked back.

Advice from the Field

Ginny: 鈥淣either of us were looking for love. It comes in the most unexpected places.鈥�

Benny: 鈥淭he long-distance relationship isn鈥檛 bad. We talked every day for at least 20 to 30 minutes. Normally, people don鈥檛 sit and talk to each other, but we did, and it made a good base for us.鈥�

A Canceled 100-Mile Trail Run Goes Right

In 2019, Katy Barker, from New Zealand, met Mike Nash, from South Africa, at a hotel breakfast table in Gressoney-Saint-Jean, Italy, as they fueled up for the Ultra Tour de Monte Rosa鈥攁 grueling 100-mile trail race through the Alps on the Swiss-Italian border set to start that morning.

However, an intense snowfall听blew in, and race officials canceled the event for safety reasons.

Bummed but not deterred, Katy, Mike, and two other athletes crafted a plan B: they found an alternate, less snowy route from Chamonix, France, to Courmayeur, Italy. The group relocated to Chamonix and hit the trail at 3 A.M., trekking poles in hand, sporting headlamps and carrying food and water. For 62 miles, they ran, scrambled, and power-hiked nearly 17,500 vertical feet through steep, technical high-Alpine terrain. Occasionally, they stopped at rifugios for a cappuccino, piece of cake, soda, or ham-and-cheese roll. During their journey, Katy and Mike spent several hours talking, running together, and hitting it off.

Once they finished, nearly 22 hours later, Mike invited Katy to Slovenia to run some more, where they fell in love quickly. They lived a nomadic lifestyle, trekking up mountains, until Mike got a job in Canada. They didn鈥檛 have a joint bank account or share property, but Katy was able to follow him on a work permit when they justified their domestic partnership to the Canadian government with Airbnb receipts and Strava screenshots.

Advice from the Field

Katy: 鈥淭rust your instincts and your heart. Take a chance on a person if you think they might be the one. It might not work out, but it鈥檚 better than forever wondering about what might have been. And if it does work out, wow.鈥�

Mike: 鈥淒on鈥檛 let logistics get in the way鈥攊f someone is worth it, you鈥檒l find a way to make it work. Even a pandemic couldn鈥檛 keep us apart.鈥�

A Marriage Revived While Glamping

Necota and Sonya Staples met in 1998 at North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University and fell into a whirlwind romance. They married five years later but eventually started drifting apart.听

In 2016, after years of intensive marriage counseling and on the verge of divorce, Necota鈥檚 therapist suggested they say yes to each other for 90 days鈥攁 last-ditch effort to save their union.

During this period, Sonya wanted to go camping. Necota, averse to the idea but determined to play by the rules, agreed. They packed up the car and headed to Wadmalaw, South Carolina, for a glamping weekend with family and friends. It was rainy and muddy, and Necota hated every minute of that first night. However, Sonya challenged him the next day to 鈥渃hoose a happier emotional experience,鈥� and it was then that everything clicked for him: he realized he had been saying no to his wife for far too long. The two built a fire, prepared and cooked food together, laughed, and had such a blast on the rest of the trip that they decided to do it again.

They鈥檝e camped regularly ever since, rarely returning to the same spot twice. During their first several trips, the two fostered teamwork and reestablished their communication skills by setting up camp and exploring nature together.听

Along the way, they started a to inspire others to feel more comfortable, confident, and curious outdoors. This grew this into a business, called , that leads community-building events and teaches others outdoors skills.

Sonya and Necota have also gotten into off-roading and overlanding and started 鈥攁n Instagram community for those underrepresented in the outdoors who like to drive around in the backcountry. 鈥淲e felt it was important that people see themselves and feel seen in where and how they recreate,鈥� says Necota.

Advice from the Field

Sonya: 鈥淎lways look outside yourself and try to understand another perspective. Often we get caught up in how we see things, how we feel, and how we were hurt, and can choose to ignore how someone else feels or sees a situation. Remember, there鈥檚 your way, my way, and the truth.鈥�

Necota: 鈥淯nderstand communication in its fullness. There鈥檚 verbal and nonverbal communication, and knowing how your partner communicates in both areas is key. Working diligently on communication is very much related to the success of your relationship.鈥�

An Epic Paddle Where Sparks Literally Flew

Corey and Leah Belt met in 2008, in Asheville, North Carolina, through a trusted mutual boating friend at a concert. Corey had just scored a new kayak. Leah had plans to paddle section nine of the French Broad River, fives miles of flat and Class III whitewater ending at a hot springs鈥攈er favorite post-work spot. They traded phone numbers on their flip phones, and she invited him along.

After phone tag (and some butterflies), they met up the next day and set off to shuttle their cars to either end of the float. Unbeknownst to them, in the surrounding Cherokee National Forest, a fire had begun. They arrived at the take-out in a rural area about 30 minutes from Asheville and parked Leah鈥檚 car. They noticed that the air was smoky, as fresh ash fell from the sky, but wrote it off as a controlled burn. They proceeded to the put-in and made it a mile downriver when a couple of canoers hauling boats on their shoulders and walking upstream started screaming at them to get off the river. There was a massive fire around the next bend, they yelled.

Leah and Corey turned around, battled the current to the put-in, and rushed back to Leah鈥檚 car, which was covered in ash. Deciding not to let the date become a bust, they opted for drinks, which turned into dinner, and a sweet smooch at the end of the night.

Inseparable for the next few months, they hiked, camped, paddled, and formed a deep friendship. In 2016, Leah and Corey got hitched and held their wedding reception on the banks of the French Broad.

Advice from the Field

Leah: 鈥淲hen I met Corey, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was focused on spending any free time I had doing what I loved, and that meant kayaking. I think when you can focus on being yourself and doing what makes you happy, that happiness is attractive to everyone around you.鈥�

Corey: 鈥淭he perfect combination is to do what you love outdoors and meet someone who loves doing the same鈥攁nd then end up falling in love.鈥�

Missed Signals and Missing Powder

Mountaineer Erin Parisi is attempting to become the first transgender person to tackle all Seven Summits. (She鈥檚 already knocked off five.) In the fall of 2017, Erin met the woman who is now her wife, Allison Smookler, when mutual friends dragged her to a bar in Denver after throat surgery. Erin鈥檚 doctor had put her on mandatory vocal rest, so although she found Allison attractive and funny, a nod and wave was the best she could muster. Meanwhile, Allison perceived Erin as standoffish.

A few weeks later, they ran into each other at a Halloween party. This time, Erin came equipped with a notepad, and they shared messages and glances all evening. That night, Erin didn鈥檛 pick up on Allison鈥檚 flirtatious advances. Afterward, Allison googled Erin, read about her endeavors in an 国产吃瓜黑料 story, and sent Erin a Facebook message inviting her to dinner. Erin, not realizing it was a date, towed along a few friends.听Erin laughs about it now, reflecting on the fact that she鈥檚 a mountaineer who spends most of her time in a tent, so she simply wasn鈥檛 connecting the dots.

On their official first date, to Colorado鈥檚 Arapahoe Basin Ski Area, Erin was determined to chase powder despite the crappy snow conditions. She convinced Allison to posthole to a stash, but it didn鈥檛 actually exist. Instead, they slid down an icy luge on their butts, called it a day, and headed to a New Year鈥檚 Eve party. In the car, Allison asked Erin how long they should tell their friends they鈥檇 been dating. To which Erin replied, 鈥淲e鈥檝e been dating?鈥�

They married in 2020 in a tiny ceremony, with a city official on Zoom. They still explore the backcountry when Erin isn鈥檛 chasing her final two Seven Summits and advocating for trans rights in the outdoors. Cracking up about their flirtatious debacle, Erin says the outdoors teaches you to take seemingly unfunny moments and find the humor to continue onward and have faith that everything will be OK.

Advice from the Field

Erin: 鈥淚 learned there鈥檚 someone for everyone out there. I fretted for most of my life that I wouldn鈥檛 be able to find love and partnership if I came out. Being authentically me didn鈥檛 have to come at the cost of my life and joy in the world. Manifesting my sense of self made everything better and has opened frontiers in my ability to love and be loved.鈥�

Allison: 鈥淲e come together and enjoy the outdoors in a way that is supportive for both of us. Find common ground鈥攁 difference in ability can be overcome with some planning. We find ski runs that have moguls and jumps for Erin, with an adjoining blue run for me. We can go on an easy or moderate hike, and Erin will carry 50 pounds of water weight in her pack and we both get a good workout in.鈥�

A Mountain-Biking Meetup Turned Meet-Cute

Robin and Vernon Huffman met 20 years ago at the Loma Alta Preserve, north of听San Francisco in Marin County, on a winter joyride with their mountain-biking club: the Forest Knolls Freewheelers. Vernon, a pioneer of the group, engineered the 15-to-20-mile, six-hour social event. Robin was new and had agreed to tag along after she was invited by a coworker. She arrived 30 minutes early to the meetup in the parking lot and chatted with Vernon as they waited for the rest of the 25-person crew to show up.

Halfway into the ride, Robin鈥檚 coworker, who noticed chemistry between the two, asked Robin if Vernon was her boyfriend. Robin replied, 鈥淣ot yet,鈥� and word got back to Vernon. 鈥淚t was quite a premonition and apparently carried some weight with Vernon,鈥� she says.

The Forest Knolls Freewheelers reconvened for another ride, on New Year鈥檚 Day, up Mount Carmel, south of the Bay Area, planning to meet at the local brewery afterward. Everyone else bailed on drinks, but Robin and Vernon ended up going for post-ride beers anyway. They talked late into the evening. Vernon realized he had so much in common with Robin, and vice versa, that they moved in together three months later, married a year and a half after that, and still regularly mountain-bike.

Advice from the Field

Robin: 鈥淪hare similar interests and passions鈥攚e both love to ride our bikes and travel to meet mutual friends who do, too鈥攚hich maintains a healthy activity to build a strong relationship and friendship.鈥�

Vernon: 鈥淓njoy your day to the fullest and tackle difficult issues in the morning over coffee.鈥�

A Motorcycle Crash That Changed Everything听

Massimo Alpian met Brett Kennedy in Manhattan in 2006. As an active, adventurous guy who preferred to ditch the bustle to bike, hike, camp, and ski on weekends, it was a nightmare to date gym rats, partiers, and restaurant snobs in New York City. Then he met Brett on Myspace. Massimo instantly gravitated toward Brett鈥檚 鈥減erfect smile,鈥� self-deprecating humor, and similar lifestyle. The two met for dinner, hit it off, and made plans to bike and hike for a weekend in Phoenicia, New York, a small town in the Catskills.

Brett, an avid mountain biker, convinced Massimo, a passionate road cyclist, to join him for a trail ride. Massimo figured it wouldn鈥檛 be that hard to pick up. But Brett took off on the technical singletrack. A minute into the ride, peeved with Brett for speeding away and realizing he was out of his element, Massimo wiped out hard. Brett eventually circled back and taught Massimo how to follow his wheel.

A few days later鈥攑artly as payback鈥擬assimo designed a road ride from Manhattan over the George Washington Bridge to New Jersey and back. He dusted Brett on pavement. Both men point to these two rides as critical to strengthening their bond, crafting a stable foundation, and dialing back the intensity from the get-go.

Though he had come out to his friend group, Massimo was living closeted with his parents, saving cash, dating in secret, and crafting a life plan after graduating from New York University. His parents, upon discovering that Massimo identified as gay, asked him to leave his childhood home. He didn’t speak to them for six years.

Massimo moved in with Brett temporarily, then permanently. But in 2009, he had what he describes as a 鈥渓ate-twenties crisis.鈥� Fearing he had entered a serious relationship too young, Massimo broke up with Brett, moved across the city, and bought a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle.

One day as he was ripping down First Avenue on the Ninja, a taxi blindsided Massimo. His bike rocketed into the air and landed over half a city block away. He sustained several fractures and blew out his knee; his body was beaten to a pulp. Paramedics rushed him to the emergency room. In the ambulance, when asked for a contact, he told them to call Brett. Brett came to the hospital and called Massimo鈥檚 parents to notify them of the accident. Despite having been estranged for the better part of a decade from their son, Massimo鈥檚 parents showed up. Then the healing between the four of them began.

Brett invited Massimo to move back in so he could help him with physical therapy, and five weeks after the accident, the two reconciled. They鈥檝e since moved to Colorado, got married in 2014, and now hike fourteeners, cycle near Boulder, and tackle international climbing expeditions. Massimo says he has a wonderful relationship with his parents, too.

Advice from the Field

Massimo: 鈥淭hrough our 15-year relationship, I鈥檝e learned that love languages are different. Remembering that we all are individuals, and showing love and acts of service to your partner in different ways, is important and truly something special.鈥�

Brett: 鈥淎dventuring with your partner is an exciting shared experience that pushes you to strive, collaborate, navigate, and reassure one another, which can only build trust and magnify intimacy.鈥�

Do you and your partner have an adventurous backcountry love story? Or perhaps you鈥檝e experienced the worst outdoor date ever? Send your best and worst romance tales to听love@outsideinc.com. Also, tune in to the 国产吃瓜黑料 Podcast for in-depth interviews and hilarious conversations about love in the backcountry.

The post Our 7 Favorite Outdoor Love Stories Recounted by 国产吃瓜黑料 Readers appeared first on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online.