OK everyone, show鈥檚 over鈥攊t鈥檚 time to wrap up your Internet gorging. Speed read that and play that last Tiktok. We鈥檝e had an amazing two weeks of digital overconsumption, but alas, the Gwyneth Paltrow skiing trial is over () and it鈥檚 time to, ya know, get back to work. I鈥檓 serious. U.S. Commerce Secretary Gina Raimando just called, and apparently the country鈥檚 economic productivity fell 97 percent last week because most of us were too busy to reply to a single email.
Yes, Paltrow vs. Retired Optometrist Dude Terry Sanderson delivered a gargantuan tonnage of web content, and if you鈥檙e like me, you mainlined all of that delicious garbage, from to insanely dumb listicles about the designer turtlenecks and frilly blouses she wore to the courtroom. I gobbled up content as if it were free kettle corn at a dispensary. I indulged in your gleeful tweets about her humblebrag testimony on the stand (鈥), and I watched the聽 to Sanderson after the judge read the verdict. In fact, I鈥檝e watched it enough times to perform the scene at the local dinner theater.
And I know I鈥檓 not alone. By my estimation, Paltrow racked up eleventy billion dollars worth of media attention, all because she and Sanderson attempted to argue that a ski crash on the bunny slope was the other person鈥檚 fault.
So, why did this ridiculous story capture our collective attention for two solid weeks? I have a theory. The stakes were abysmally low鈥攖wo wealthy squared off in court with their respective reputations on the line鈥攕o it was the rare case of a trial with no real losers (Sanderson does have to cover Paltrow鈥檚 court costs.) It involved a ski crash, which is something that many of us in the outdoor recreation world have dealt with. Perhaps most important, the trial鈥檚 machinations delivered the temporary distraction we didn鈥檛 know we needed from the constant churn of heavy duty news in outdoor recreation, and specifically the skiing world. Yep, following聽this case was like eating ice cream for dinner after months of slurping spinach soup.
As many of us know, to follow skiing these days is to immerse yourself in the many existential and real problems facing society at large. Climate change has us wondering if our of sliding down a hill on natural snow. The MegaCorps that now control the industry have made visiting a resort feel like flying coach to Cleveland. Rising prices聽are making skiing off-limits to a huge swath of society, and demographics research continually shows just how it is. Talk to any resort worker about his or her housing situation and you鈥檒l likely hear a horror story about a monster commute, life inside a drafty shack, or of a small condominium packed with roommates. Most chairlift conversations I have these days at my home mountain鈥擟olorado鈥檚 Keystone resort鈥攔evolve around the abysmal traffic on Interstate 70, and a general sense that, aside from the skiing part, a day at the resort really isn鈥檛 that fun.
That鈥檚 right, skiing faces serious problems鈥攐nes that deserve our attention. But hey, it鈥檚 OK to take a brain break every now and then. In that sense, the Paltrow trial was like that compilation of cat videos that Aunt Vicky sent you over the weekend. We watched it unfold, had some laughs, and now it鈥檚 time for the whole thing to fade into our collective memories. Like I said before, it鈥檚 time to get back to work, to the serious stuff. And for those of us who love and adore skiing, this means again turning our gaze to the problems facing our activity, and more importantly, to the organizations and individuals that are trying to solve them.
Perhaps that means reading up on the from Protect Our Winters, donating to a major international climate change advocacy group, or educating yourself with simple hacks to help the environment. It could mean , or attending a local town council about building more affordable housing. Maybe it just means volunteering some time for a local candidate with a focus on sustainability, or reading up on the new . Skiing faces challenges, and I invite everyone to donate time, money, or attention to the groups trying to solve them.
With all that said, there are a few elements of the Paltrow trial that I hope are forever engrained in ski culture.聽I cannot wait to see dozens of wig-wearing Gwyneths bomb down the slopes at 2024 and beyond. I will keep my eyes open for which snow sports eyewear brand creates its version of the that she wore on the trial鈥檚 opening day. The next time you accidentally bump someone in the lift line, gleefully declare your intentions to sue them for $1.
And if your ski day gets kertwanged by traffic, or an expensive lift ticket, or terrible snow, you can always fire up the afternoon of skiing after she and Sanderson careened into each other. It鈥檚 totally relatable.