国产吃瓜黑料

GET MORE WITH OUTSIDE+

Enjoy 35% off GOES, your essential outdoor guide

UPGRADE TODAY

Happiness isn't a feeling, it's a practice.
Happiness isn't a feeling, it's a practice. (Photo: Tucker Good/Unsplash)

13 Lessons to Make You Really, Truly Happy. Maybe.

Our writer and favorite curmudgeon completed UC Berkeley's ten-week Science of Happiness online course. Did it make him happier? Not really. But he still came away with some important, if obvious, rules to live by.

Published: 
Happiness isn't a feeling, it's a practice.
(Photo: Tucker Good/Unsplash)

New perk: Easily find new routes and hidden gems, upcoming running events, and more near you. Your weekly Local Running Newsletter has everything you need to lace up! .

Last autumn, I enrolled in the University of California, Berkeley鈥檚 massive open online course to see if I might goose my felicity quotient through an understanding of the edicts dispensed almost daily by the USA鈥檚 happiness industrial complex. The course is free. It鈥檚 Berkeley. And its instructors, Emiliana Simon-Thomas and Dacher Keltner, have been teaching the material for years. (Keltner created UC Berkeley鈥檚 in 2001; the online program debuted in 2014. Other online happiness courses, as far I can tell, are derivative.)

The ten-week course kicks off with a robust introduction to the science of positive psychology, followed by seven weekly modules, parsed into themes: social connection, compassion and kindness, cooperation and reconciliation, mindfulness, mental habits of happiness, gratitude, and new frontiers of happiness research (like Keltner鈥檚 pioneering work in the phenomenon called awe鈥攎ore on that in a bit). A midterm and final exam make up the remaining weeks.

My plan was to see the course through, no matter what. To guard against bailing, I shelled out an advance payment of $49 for a proof-of-completion certificate. If nothing else, I鈥檇 send the thing to my sister-in-law, , who鈥檚 been at me for years to do something about my preternatural angst. Later, I would learn that of the roughly 500,000 enrollees, only 8,000 have received certificates鈥攁 completion rate of less than 2 percent.

The reason for so many lookie-loos? The workload, probably. All told, I plowed through more than 50 hours of material鈥攔eading, videos, experiential exercises, quizzes, and exams鈥攚hile squelching my uneasiness about the squishiness of social science and the field of positive psychology with its reliance on self-reporting. I would later learn that while happiness researchers are employing new studies grounded in the physical sciences, many are simply , and worse: Some have even been censured recently for their readers.

As the course progressed, I鈥檇 come to view the science as commonsensical鈥攕implistic even. To wit: Being a member of a supportive community confers positive vibes; quieting the mind alleviates stress; exercise tickles happiness hormones. Add to that the happiness insights passed down by the world鈥檚 great thinkers over two millennia鈥擟onfucius, the Buddha, Aristotle, and, uh, , among others鈥攁nd I would find myself wondering with each completed week: Why the science? Aren鈥檛 these practices time-honored enough by now for us to understand that they more or less work as advertised? (Apparently not. The United States鈥 ranking continues to drop in the annual , where we currently sit in 18th place.)

Am I any happier after having taken the course? Not really. But if consuming the science failed to dampen my neuroticism, at least I walked away with a better understanding of the literature鈥攂oth the research and the profusion of popular titles spilling off the self-help bookshelves. My conclusion? If I didn鈥檛 know any better鈥攁nd I doubt the positive psychology community would admit this鈥擨 would guess that happiness science cops many lessons from Buddhism. After all, it was arguably the Dalai Lama himself who launched the positivity craze with his 1998 book, The Art of Happiness. 鈥淸T]he very motion of our life is toward happiness,鈥 he wrote in the book鈥檚 opening paragraph.

鈥淚t's almost embarrassing how, at the end of the day, we end up noticing this idea that the middle path is most productive,鈥 Simon-Thomas told me when I called her a few weeks after completing the course. 鈥淔or some people, the biggest struggle from the course is self-compassion, really looking at themselves and taking the time to understand where their barriers and challenges to happiness lie, and making choices that align with happiness instead of suffering.鈥

If hewing to the middle way was the big aha I took from Simon-Thomas, Keltner, and all the rest, here are 13 smaller truths that helped point me and other happiness seekers in that direction.

#1. If You鈥檙e Happy, Then You Probably Know It (So Clap Your Hands)

You cannot measure happiness without defining it, yet on the murkiness index, happiness is right up there with 鈥渟ustainability鈥 and 鈥渨ellness.鈥 To some, happiness is the opposite of worry: enjoying good health, being free of troubles. To others, it鈥檚 living a meaningful life and giving to others, which is much closer in practice to the Aristotelian definition of happiness as . Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of positive psychology at UC Riverside and the author of The How of Happiness, characterizes it as 鈥渢he experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one鈥檚 life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.鈥 (Positive psychologists use the terms 鈥渟ubjective well-being鈥 and 鈥渉appiness鈥 interchangeably.) The Nobel Prize鈥搘inning psychologist Daniel Kahneman identifies four levels of happiness: subjective, genetic, emotional, and sensate (like the feeling of a cool breeze on warm skin).

The bottom line: Researchers determine if someone鈥檚 happy by asking them if they鈥檙e happy. Don鈥檛 take my word for it:

#2. The Great Bulk of Happiness Science Doesn鈥檛 Measure Happiness

Happiness science is really no more than a fetching label for an amalgam of psychological, biological, and social studies, all of which measure a kind of emotional health. Research methods include observation, surveys, biomarkers, and measurement devices like fMRI to study such phenomena as relationships, self-compassion, concentration, affective state, and personality. Some of these findings appear to be at least once removed from a direct, evidential tie to happiness. I could be off here, but if researchers presuppose physical health is an important component of well-being, why do so many healthy folks feel perfectly wretched and go on to live long lives? In general, the happiness taxonomy seems as much art as science.

#3. Intimacy Harks Back to Infancy

Attachment theory, first developed in 1969, suggests that the quality of the attention we received from our primary caregivers can affect the intimacy and sustainability of our adult social connections鈥攚hich are a major determinant of well-being, and even life expectancy. Infants who received consistent nurturing from their caregivers tend to enjoy stronger, more trusting relationships. Those with avoidant tendencies, which may result from neglectful caregiving, frequently find themselves on the outs with their romantic partners, which can set up a vicious cycle of relationship failure. But studies suggest that, with effort, .

Want to test for intimacy red flags in your relationships? Grab a partner and .

#4. Your Money鈥檚 No Good Here

At least one landmark study reports that those who come into loads of money are no happier than folks who don鈥檛. That said, if you鈥檙e destitute, money helps, but only up to a point: Kahneman postulates that point to be about $75,000 per year. According to the literature, we become habituated to sudden changes in our lives鈥攍ike winning the lottery鈥攁 phenomenon called hedonic adaptation.

The good news: If an unexpected windfall won鈥檛 make you happy forever, then tragedy won鈥檛 permanently sink you either.

#5. Happiness Is as Slippery as a Greased Boar

By now we should know that buying won鈥檛 get us to the promised land. Thing is, most of us are really good at about the future, which means what will actually make us happy. Thus, we miss out on opportunities that could provide a meaningful boost (spending time with friends or family, say) and invest in stuff that looks sexy on the surface but won鈥檛 ultimately budge our happiness needles for good.

Recommended exercise: from Berkeley.

#6. Happiness Isn鈥檛 a Feeling, It鈥檚 a Practice

Lots of scientists subscribe to set point theory鈥攖he idea that our internal genetic happiness levels are more or less predetermined. And you鈥檝e probably heard that genetics is responsible for 50 percent of our happiness, with circumstance taking up 10 percent and individual initiative the remaining 40 percent. Although , who derived these pie slices, cautions that they鈥檙e not exactly Newtonian, that鈥檚 still a whole lot of genetics to overcome if you don鈥檛 have a predilection for joy or optimism. This means you鈥檇 be well-served by thinking of happiness as a lifelong practice, much like mastering the forward paddle stroke.

At the same time, there鈥檚 no such thing as single path to happiness, so scientists like Keltner and Simon-Thomas advise using a design-thinking approach to arrive at your best fit. 鈥淭hink of it instead as a personal science experiment, or the ultimate word map; you don鈥檛 have to figure everything out,鈥 Simon-Thomas says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 like you鈥檝e got all the ingredients in the kitchen and a couple of recipes, and you can try them and see which one tastes bad and which one makes you feel good.鈥

#7. Gratitude Is the Killer Happy App, but Don鈥檛 Overdo It

Acknowledging what you have鈥攅ven if it seems like you have very little鈥攚as the technique that most impressed me: simple, fast, , and, no, I didn鈥檛 morph into a complacent bliss monkey by counting my blessings. At least , co-authored by Lyubomirsky, suggests that habitually counting your blessings boosts positive affect, something that鈥檚 easily done by keeping a . While the task is simple鈥攁t the end of the day, record all the good things that happened to you鈥攔esearchers recommend only three 鈥渄oses鈥 a week. Why? Simon Thomas told me there鈥檚 no perfect answer to the conundrum of why less is more when it comes to gratitude but recommended adopting a varied regimen of what works best for any individual. 鈥淔or most of the so-called happiness practices,鈥 Simon-Thomas said, 鈥渢here鈥檚 always the possibility of diminishing return with forced or obligatory over-repetition, like, 鈥楿h, let鈥檚 see, I am grateful for Post-it notes鈥or being lots of colors.鈥 Either it gets shallow or it makes us feel overextended. Think of it like exercise鈥攊f a person exerts themselves continuously in the same kind of motion, they risk getting hurt.鈥

#8. Go Ahead, Embrace Your Angst

Simon-Thomas and Keltner made clear that the goal of the course isn鈥檛 to teach you to surf a wave of bliss that never breaks. It鈥檚 futile to happify your way through life鈥檚 vicissitudes, which are an inescapable part of the human experience. 鈥淎ngst and melancholy are fundamental human emotions that have a particular functional purpose in our evolutionary trajectory,鈥 Simon-Thomas says.

#9. Don鈥檛 Go It Alone

Humans, irrational primates that we are, are often a pain in the ass, but we need one another. As Simon-Thomas and Keltner put it, we鈥檙e ultrasocial and wired to connect. In fact, there鈥檚 an evolutionary basis for collectivism: As a species, we鈥檝e always gathered around a campfire, either literal or virtual. And apparently, although it seems counterintuitive, at least one researcher has found us to be a . Besides, it鈥檚 fun to trigger each other鈥檚 neuropeptide called oxytocin, our endogenous 鈥渓ove drug,鈥 evoked when we cooperate, attach, affiliate, and, yeah, make whoopee.

#10. On Being Here Now

Perhaps no single wellness intervention has been the focus of as much scientific scrutiny as mindfulness, which has become a kind of panacea for all that ails the psyche,聽and for good reason: focusing on the present moment has been used to quiet humans鈥 capricious minds for thousands of years (recall my聽observation between Buddhism and happiness practices).聽Scientists claim mindfulness buoys well-being, strengthens attention, reduces stress, diminishes depression, and, hell, even slows aging. Different forms of 鈥攂ody awareness, compassion, and meta-cognitive鈥 different aspects of well-being.

Yet these findings come with a caveat: despite the many studies validating the efficacy of a mindfulness, several meta-analyses have found little evidence that such practices influenced positive emotions. In some cases,聽it would seem that聽mindfulness hype has

#11. Get Gobsmacked by Nature, Laugh, Play, and Go with the Flow

Evolutionary biologist E.O. Wilson coined the term 鈥渂iophilia鈥 for humanity鈥檚 instinct to merge with other forms of life. Keltner has used the natural world in his research on the , which he defines as 鈥渢he feeling of being in the presence of something vast and greater than the self that exceeds current knowledge structures.鈥 Think hugging a giant sequoia, skiing under the northern lights, or wandering through wilderness.

Keltner鈥檚 emerging work in happiness identifies and play as integral to well-being. Cobbled together, I thought of two good friends tackling a big backcountry climbing objective鈥攐r .

#12. Happiness Has Nothing to Do with Meaningfulness, According to Some

While most well-being scientists of a purposeful life one subverted that notion. 鈥淗appiness was linked to being a taker rather than a giver,鈥 the research team wrote, 鈥渨hereas meaningfulness went with being a giver rather than a taker. Higher levels of worry, stress, and anxiety were linked to higher meaningfulness but lower happiness.鈥

The paper made some key happiness researchers, including Lyubomirsky, not very happy. (More about that debate .) 鈥淲hen I think about the importance of separating happiness and meaningfulness,鈥 Simon-Thomas told me, 鈥渢hat鈥檚 where I hit a wall. If you鈥檙e truly living a happy life in this overarching way, a piece of that is that it鈥檚 meaningful to you.鈥

#13. Compassion Is Baked into Our Nervous System

More than 20 years ago, University of Chicago鈥檚 Steve Porges introduced the polyvagal theory, which placed the vagus nerve at the center of human compassion. The love nerve, if you will. The vagus (Latin for 鈥渨andering鈥) is the longest nerve of the body鈥檚 autonomic nervous system, taking root at the top of the spinal cord and meandering down to the gut. The vagus nerve affects speech, how we direct our gaze, breathing, heart rate, digestion, and鈥攐f special interest to happiness researchers鈥攐ur immune systems, inflammation responses, and the firing of oxytocin. In one experiment conducted in Keltner鈥檚 Berkeley lab, college students watched videos of people in distress. The students with particularly strong vagal tone demonstrated greater empathy, sympathy, and compassion than those who lacked it. So, how to strengthen your vagal profile? Exercise and mindfulness, for starters. Completing some could help, too.

I found this 鈥測ou鈥檝e evolved to be kind鈥 notion the most disarming factoid of the hundreds served up over the ten weeks. When I caught up with Simon-Thomas, I fessed up: I鈥檝e always assumed that humans harbor ulterior motives for our kindly acts. 鈥淭his is another common debate about altruism,鈥 she told me. 鈥淟ike, oh well, if you actually enjoy being nice to others, then you鈥檙e never truly altruistic. I find that to be a false dichotomy. Instead, it just means that, at a fundamental level, we鈥檙e wired to be altruistic over our basic design as a species.鈥

Her answer made me kind of happy.

Convinced? The next Berkeley Science of Happiness MOOC starts聽Sep 3, 2018.

Lead Photo: Tucker Good/Unsplash

Popular on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online