The holidays are here. It鈥檚 peak off-season time. You want to relax and recover鈥攂oth physically and mentally鈥攂ut not so much that it will take you the better part of next year to work your way back to where you finished this one. It鈥檚 about threading the needle.
In behavioral science, there鈥檚 something called the (really!). It describes situations where you鈥檝e been so rigid and disciplined that when you give in just a little, you can鈥檛 help but decide you might as well go all the way: I already ate one piece of cheesecake. What the hell, I might as well eat the whole thing. Two bourbons tasted good and warmed my chest. What the hell, I might as well have four. As a rule, you want to avoid this effect. You definitely don鈥檛 want all of December to be one long what the hell.
The internet will be buzzing with articles and essays and videos and strategies on how to get through the holidays. My advice: Ignore it all. What is supposed to be a celebratory time of year shouldn鈥檛 seem daunting. Just follow these basic principles and you鈥檒l be fine.
Do Something Active Every Morning
What you do first thing sets the tone for the day. If you move your body, you鈥檒l both feel good and send yourself a visceral message that you care about feeling good. This will help you make smart decisions later in the day.
It doesn鈥檛 have to be much, says , an internationally acclaimed expert on human performance. 鈥淎 rule of thumb I use for the holidays is to get up and do 30 minutes of something active first thing,鈥 he says. 鈥淭he only goal is not to go backwards, or at least not too far. A few days, or even a week, of barely doing anything is fine鈥攕o long as you do something.鈥
If your body is beat down from a long year of training, even just stretching or light yoga goes a long way. This is every bit as much about keeping some semblance of a routine and the message you are sending to your brain鈥斺淚 care about feeling good, so let鈥檚 not go too crazy later鈥濃攁s it is about what you鈥檙e doing for your body.
When You Let Yourself Go, Savor the Experience
鈥淲e know from research that happiness is not just in the moment,鈥 says Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist at Stanford University and author of . 鈥淲e derive maximum pleasure and meaning from the things we can look forward to, including the planning and anticipating, and look back on, including talking about it with people we shared the experience with or even just revisiting it in our memory.鈥 Inhaling a bunch of cookies at the office is not the same thing as baking them with family and friends and then eating them over conversation and tea. Pounding shots of whiskey isn鈥檛 the same thing as sipping it while listening to your favorite music and reclining in a comfortable chair by the fire. Choose the latter, McGonigal says. Doing so will extend the joy you get from the experience.
Don鈥檛 Judge Yourself
There is an elegant Buddhist parable that teaches you to 鈥渘ot let the arrow hit you twice.鈥 The first arrow鈥攂e it a negative thought, feeling, event, or situation鈥攜ou can鈥檛 always control. And even if you could, sometimes you simply drop the ball. But you can control the second arrow, or your reaction to the first one. So often, this takes the form of denial, resistance, judgment, and loathing. It鈥檚 often the second arrow that hurts worse and prevents you from doing anything wise about the first one.
If you overeat or overdrink or get too in depth on politics with your grumpy uncle, the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up for it. shows that judging yourself for a behavior you regret makes you more likely to repeat that behavior in the future, because it becomes an escape from feeling the shame that you laid onto yourself. Don鈥檛 let the arrow hit you twice. If you mess up, acknowledge that you messed up and then let it go.
Set a Deadline, and Be Patient upon Your Return
Pick a day on which you鈥檒l get back into your rhythm. For most of us, this is January 1 or 2. But here鈥檚 the thing: Don鈥檛 expect yourself to just magically snap back, physically or mentally. Reestablishing your groove takes time. It鈥檚 helpful to think of the holiday season as taking a few steps back now so you can move forward over the long term. 鈥淕iving yourself some slack without guilt can help you renew your passion or commitment with a sense of enthusiasm,鈥 McGonigal says.
Also, a word to the wise from personal experience: When you are getting back into things, be patient. Resist the temptation to engage in what I call 鈥減anic training,鈥 or suddenly putting forth heroic efforts to try forcing yourself back into prime fitness overnight. This road leads in one direction: to injury, illness, and subsequently worse fitness.
Brad Stulberg () writes 国产吃瓜黑料鈥檚 Do It Better column and is the author of the bestselling book .