Chances are you鈥檝e been on a run or ride or hike recently, come across a beautiful scene鈥攑erhaps clouds parting, like curtains, to reveal a mountaintop, or an open vista of endless desert鈥攁nd felt the instinctual, compulsory urge to grab your phone. 鈥淭his will make a great Instagram,鈥 you鈥檝e thought.
This is a problem, because what ends up happening, says , a New York鈥揵ased psychotherapist and author of , 鈥渋s that we stop living life directly and instead start to look at it as something that we can use to build our brand.鈥
A growing body of evidence suggests that the quality of our experience suffers when we think this way. One by psychologists at the University of Southern Maine, published in Social Psychology in 2014, showed that even if participants weren鈥檛 actively using their smartphones, just having it in the room significantly decreased their ability to pay attention to what was in front of them. In another , published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships in 2012, researchers from the University of Essex found that individuals who had intimate conversations while a smartphone was in sight reported lower levels of connection than those who had a notebook nearby instead. This effect held true even when the phone wasn鈥檛 theirs.
鈥淲hen we have a phone with us, it takes our minds out of the present moment and throws it somewhere else,鈥 says Colier. 鈥淥ur direct experience, our actual being in reality, suffers.鈥
鈥淲e stop living life directly and instead start to look at it as something that we can use to build our brand.鈥
, an award-winning nature photographer who currently shoots for Patagonia, says it has taken decades to realize that some shots shouldn鈥檛 be taken. 鈥淚 still have a camera on me most of the time, but if I鈥檓 going to do something really special, I leave the camera and smartphone at home,鈥 he says. 鈥淪ome of my greatest adventures are stored in my memory鈥攏ot in pictures.鈥
Johnson is adamant that chronicling your experience is not inherently a bad thing, as long as you are intentional about it. 鈥淵ou have to be honest with yourself about what your goal really is,鈥 he says. 鈥淚s it to be fully immersed in the moment, something that will have a profound effect on the rest of your life? Or is it to sell some photos or get as many likes as possible on Instagram鈥攚hich isn鈥檛 a bad thing; it just serves a different purpose.鈥 The key, Johnson explains, is to be conscious of the choice you鈥檙e making. Unfortunately, this isn鈥檛 easy to do.
If attention is the most precious resource there is鈥攖he conduit to a full and rich experience鈥攖hen our smartphones and their built-in cameras are designed to constantly encroach upon it. 鈥淒igital devices are constructed鈥攐ften by PhDs in behavioral science鈥攖o completely consume us,鈥 says , a marketing and psychology professor at New York University and author of the forthcoming book . 鈥淭hey draw upon proven methods of addiction, like the pursuit of goals with mixed and variable feedback (e.g., not knowing if a social media post will be popular or if you鈥檒l advance to the next level of a game) along with the opportunity to see progress (e.g., gaining more followers or likes over time) to continuously reel us in.鈥
Of course, technology isn鈥檛 always a bad thing. And for some (like me, as a writer), it鈥檚 an inherent part of our jobs. Alter uses social media to engage with colleagues, discover interesting ideas, and share his work (the irony of which is not lost on him). He also relies on video chat to connect his young son to family members who live overseas and admits that he's even played聽games on his phone. 鈥淚 actually think technology is quite wonderful,鈥 Alter says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 just that if we don鈥檛 use our digital devices intentionally and with deliberateness, they can easily infringe on more and more of our lives, becoming more destructive than they are productive.鈥 Like so many other things in life, when it comes to our devices, it seems the dose makes the poison.
How to Establish a Healthy Relationship with Your Device
According to Alter and Colier, if you鈥檙e regularly experiencing any of the following symptoms鈥攁ll of which suggest that your device is occupying an unhealthy amount your psychological space鈥攜ou may be spending too much time, attention, and energy on it.
- Phantom Vibrations: Feeling your phone buzzing in your pocket when it鈥檚 not actually buzzing.
- Tetris Effect: Falling asleep and instead of having an idle mind visualizing elements of a game or social/news feed.
- Late-Night Checking: Waking up to go to the bathroom at 2 a.m. and being unable to resist checking your phone.
- Stillness Anxiety: Waiting in a store checkout line without glancing at your phone feels uncomfortable.
The good news is that there are a few simple practices everyone can use to prevent and reverse chronic digital distraction.
- Out of Sight, Out of Mind: Remove your phone from your visual field (for example, out of the room where you鈥檙e trying to work or out of your bedroom at night). Doing so immediately dampens its pull on you.
- Schedule Device-Free Time: Make hard rules for certain activities during which you鈥檒l absolutely keep your phone out of sight. Examples: at the gym, on a hike, during deep-focus work, watching television with your significant other, and perhaps most important, when you鈥檙e sleeping.
- Monitor Your Usage: Apps like , which tracks how much time you spend on your device, surface trouble spots and bring greater overall awareness to how (and when) you use your devices.
- Tech-Free Mornings: For the first 30 minutes after waking, don鈥檛 interact with technology. Instead, use this time to set an intention for the day; fully immerse yourself in a ritual like coffee, meditation, or yoga; or do a chunk of deep-focus work.