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The number of ways athletes dope is seemingly limitless these days.
The number of ways athletes dope is seemingly limitless these days.

The Best, Most Dubious Excuses of the World’s All-Time Dopers

From turtle blood to contact highs, our favorite PED "explanations," ranked

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The number of ways athletes dope is seemingly limitless these days.

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A story published Saturday in the UK鈥檚 Sunday Times accuses Nike Oregon Project coach Alberto Salazar of on his athletes. The piece comes nearly two years after a bombshell report by journalist David Epstein into the gray-zone practices of the Salazar running group. Following Epstein鈥檚 report, the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) initiated an investigation into Salazar, documents relating to which were leaked by the Russian-affiliate hacking group Fancy Bear and made available to the Times.

Salazar and , one of the athletes named in the report, both issued refuting any wrongdoing, with Salazar calling the story 鈥.鈥

While we await the outcome of the USADA case, we decided to compile the best, most dubious doping-related excuses in sports history.


The 鈥淭ainted Meat鈥 Excuse

Former three-time Tour de France winner Alberto Contador after clenbuterol was discovered in a sample he submitted following that year鈥檚 16th stage. Two days after his notification, Contador asserted that 鈥渢he origin of the Prohibited Substance must have been contaminated meat,鈥 according to the World Anti-Doping Agency () report. The agency promptly debunked the defense, saying that among a 鈥渉igh percentage of probabilities,鈥 that scenario was 鈥渦nlikely.鈥 Contador is not the only athlete to blame faulty meat for concerning samples. In January 2017, CrossFit Games competitor Charis Chan testified that the was responsible for a metabolite of an anabolic steroid ending up in her sample.

The 鈥淪econdhand Weed鈥 Excuse

Canadian snowboarder Ross Rebagliati his country鈥檚鈥攁nd the Olympic Games鈥欌攆irst-ever giant slalom gold medal in 1998 after popping on a urine test for marijuana. He famously contested the findings by suggesting he鈥檇 been around people smoking weed but hadn鈥檛 smoked it himself since the year before the Olympics (part of his strict prep regimen). Rebagliati would later reclaim his gold after a unanimous ruling by the Court of Arbitration for Sport, but he has never fully distanced himself from the green. In fact, Rebagliati even parlayed his infamy into a signature cannabis brand: .

The 鈥淧enis Pills鈥 Excuse

ED seems to be a common plight among elite athletes. Or that鈥檚 at least what mixed martial arts and Ultimate Fighting Championship star , U.S. sprinter , and Italian cyclist would tell you. All three blamed male-enhancement products for their abnormal samples that led to doping accusations.

The 鈥淭urtle Blood and Caterpillar Fungus鈥 Excuse

In the 1990s, Chinese women dominated distance running the way East African women do today. Nicknamed 鈥淢a鈥檚 Army鈥 after their coach, Ma Junren, the women set records at many distances, from 1,500 meters to 10,000 meters, . Junren attributed their success to high mileage and a diet of . But, as of last year, the athletes told a different story. According to a signed statement hidden from the media for 19 years, a of forced illegal drug injections and fear of shaming their country led to their wins.

The 鈥淓vil Twin鈥 Excuse

U.S. cyclist Tyler Hamilton took fourth place in the 2003 Tour de France, despite suffering a broken collarbone halfway through the race. Later, that feat would be questioned when a blood test showed . Rather than admit to doping鈥攚here a person intravenously adds red blood cells to boost oxygen-carrying capacity鈥擧amilton鈥檚 team argued that his results were actually caused by an absorbed unborn twin in utero, which would explain the two different types of blood.

Yes, there is some science to back that up: 鈥淭hat鈥檚 certainly a way in which a result like Hamilton鈥檚 could happen,鈥 says David Housman, a cancer researcher at MIT, who testified on Hamilton鈥檚 behalf in 2005. After Hamilton鈥檚 later admission that he had in fact doped and did not have an unborn twin to blame for his blood test results, Housman鈥檚 frustration didn鈥檛 displace the medical possibility of this phenomenon: 鈥淚鈥檓 not too pleased with the case,鈥 Housman told 国产吃瓜黑料, 鈥渂ut that鈥檚 the way it goes. The science remains the same.鈥

The 鈥淪ex Four Times, Plus Five Beers鈥 Excuse

American sprinter Dennis Mitchell blamed having sex with his wife four separate times and consuming five beers the night before a drug test for the found in his samples. 鈥淚t was her birthday,鈥 he said. 鈥淭he lady deserved a treat.鈥 While U.S.A. Track and Field bought it and , the International Association of Athletics Federations () wasn鈥檛 convinced and smacked Mitchell with a in 1999. He is currently in a long-term coaching relationship with accused two-time doper .

The 鈥淒eflection鈥 Excuse

Just two weeks out from Sebastian Coe鈥檚 2015 election as IAAF president, German and UK media outlets joined forces to question the organization. The joint statement published in the Sunday Times declared that the group had not followed up on . Rather than taking this evidence seriously, Coe called the reports 鈥渁 declaration of war on my sport.鈥 Coe could have addressed the slow but steady conflation of 鈥渉is sport鈥 with doping by coming out hard against PED use. Instead, he took a hard-line defensive stance that would prove to be misguided in the years to come.

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