Did you know that over 87% of online content consists of people reviewing stuff? Probably not, because I just made it up. Still, it might as well be true, because there are a lot of reviews out there: movie reviews, car reviews, people on Yelp whining about the service at their local Chipotle, the list goes on. Humans are consumers, and reviews are a fundamental part of the act of consumption, so it鈥檚 only natural that our discourse contains a whole lot of it.
Of course, in addition to being consumers, humans are also emotional creatures, and each one of us experiences things differently. That鈥檚 why many so may reviews are highly subjective and therefore of little to no value. Here鈥檚 why this is especially true of bicycle reviews.
One reason is that most companies marketing high-end bikes are making stellar products. As long as the designer hews reasonably close to the basic concept and doesn鈥檛 try anything to stupid or gimmicky they鈥檒l probably come up with a really good bicycle.
So, how do you choose from among all these great bicycles? Bikes come with different frame materials, different component groups, and different geometries. Don鈥檛 you need a reviewer to tell you if you should choose between Brand A or Brand B, or between the aluminum bike or the carbon one? Well, assuming you鈥檙e starting with a good quality bike and not one with a Lightning McQueen theme you found next to the lawn fertilizer, there are two factors that matter way, way more than any others鈥攜es, even frame material鈥攁nd they are:
- Does the bike fit?
- Is the bike designed for what you鈥檙e gonna do with it?
If the answer to either of those is 鈥淣o,鈥 the bike鈥檚 gonna suck. If the answer to both of those questions is yes鈥攁nd you can afford it鈥攖hen you鈥檙e probably looking at a winner. Sure, you can absolutely read a roundup of 鈥44 of the best gravel bikes you can buy in 2023鈥 (an actual tweet from an actual publication), but it鈥檚 a complete waste of time, like plunging your hand wrist-deep into a bowl of M&Ms and trying to pick out the very best one.
That鈥檚 not to say all these bikes are exactly the same, but if you鈥檙e looking at specific bikes for specific applications they鈥檙e usually way more similar than they are different. Moreover, when you ride two similar bicycles back-to-back, you鈥檙e usually not feeling what鈥檚 better or worse about them, you鈥檙e mostly just feeling those minor differences, and after awhile you get used to whatever those differences are and they quickly disappear.
A reviewer comparing the GravelBlaster SL and the PebbleShredder Pro is going back and forth between two different bikes with different tires and different saddles and different bars and different bar tapes and different shifters and all kinds of other minor differences that nevertheless go a long way towards informing your first impression of a ride and then making a recommendation based on all these minor subjective differences that mostly just amount to a bunch of noise.
But the differences between bikes that actually matter are the objective ones. Like maybe it鈥檚 really rainy where you live, the GravelBlaster SL has eyelets for fenders, but the PebbleShredder doesn鈥檛鈥攖his is information you can actually use. Certainly a good reviewer will point this out, but then again so will the spec sheet, and all too often important details like this get lost or ignored amid rhapsodic descriptions about the bike鈥檚 鈥渞ide quality,鈥 which is the cycling equivalent of 鈥渕outh feel.鈥
Then there鈥檚 the fact that when someone鈥檚 reviewing a bike they鈥檙e reviewing it now; even a 鈥渓ong-term鈥 review usually only amounts to several months of riding. However, the truth is it takes years to get to know a bike, just as it takes years to get to know a person. Sure, you may think you could marry the person you鈥檙e dating, but you don鈥檛 know if you love them until you鈥檝e experienced something truly horrible together, like a layoff, or a death in the family, or a lengthy poetry reading. Similarly, you don鈥檛 really even begin to know a bike until you鈥檝e been through at least several sets of tires and brake pads and maybe a chain or two. Really, you probably shouldn鈥檛 even bother reading a bike review unless the reviewer has pulled the crank and overhauled the bottom bracket. Unfortunately nobody abides by this principle, which is how we ended up with BB30 in the first place.
Perhaps most frustratingly, you should only read reviews from people who love bikes, but if you truly love bikes it鈥檚 almost impossible to review them. For people who love bikes, whichever bike you鈥檙e riding at the moment is your favorite, and then you get on another one and that one becomes your favorite. You might as well ask dating advice from a compulsive womanizer.
Okay, so if bike reviews are useless, then what are you supposed to do? Well, the media is like a bag of Kirkland trail mix, and the bike media is no exception, so all you can do is pick through it and try to extract the healthy stuff. You can also seek out people who do the sort of riding you do, or at least are interested in doing, and learn from them. This too comes with its share of risks鈥攔eading about bikes on Reddit and other forums can be like learning about sex in the schoolyard鈥攂ut hands-on experience from people outside of the industry who live and breathe cycling can be incredibly valuable. Through these channels you鈥檒l also learn about bike companies that are actually doing something different, and you might ultimately find that something different is for you.
But of course the most valuable knowledge of all is the knowledge you acquire yourself, and when it comes to that there鈥檚 no substitute for experience. So take some chances, buy used stuff, be safe, don鈥檛 be afraid to experiment, and most importantly, get out there and ride.