To Climb Rocks
Use your feet. Despite what you may have seen in Cliffhanger聽or depictions of climbing in energy drink ads, rock climbing is聽less about doing 40 pull-ups in a row and more about techniques that place your weight on your feet and reliance on core strength.
Another thing: If someone yells 鈥渞ock,鈥 duck, don鈥檛 look up. You鈥檙e trying to avoid a falling object, not catch a foul ball at a baseball game. If a small rock, a cam, a carabiner, or a large rock comes flying down from above, catching it with your face is going to ruin your day.
To Boulder
Every fall is a ground fall.
Another thing: It鈥檚 perfectly acceptable to spend half a day (or an entire day) trying to climb eight feet of rock.
To Climb Ice
You鈥檙e not doing it because it鈥檚 comfortable: it鈥檚 cold, it鈥檚 wet, you鈥檒l spend lots of time standing in snow, chunks of ice will come flying at you from above, your hands and feet will go numb, and that鈥檚 just when you鈥檙e belaying. When you鈥檙e climbing, you鈥檙e attached to several sharp points capable of ripping your clothes and/or flesh, and when you get to the top of a pitch of ice, you鈥檙e likely to experience something called 鈥渢he screaming barfies,鈥 a pain from rapidly warming hands so named because you will want to scream and vomit at the same time.
Another thing: It鈥檚 pretty fun if you鈥檙e into that sort of stuff.
To Camp
In a tent, you will probably not sleep for eight hours straight like you do in your bed at home, but if you get good at camping, you can get five or six somewhat consecutive 90-minute naps.
Another thing: Other animals in nature also enjoy food, so don鈥檛 leave yours out overnight or when you鈥檙e away from your campsite. Squirrels can ruin your supply of snacks, bears can ruin your life.
To Go Backpacking
An oft-cited adage says, 鈥渙unces equal pounds, and pounds equal pain.鈥 When you鈥檙e at home piling up all your stuff to pack for your trip, that paperback/French press/extra change of clothes may seem like it鈥檚 worth it, but three miles into an eight-mile hike with all your stuff on your back, it may turn into the bane of your backcountry existence.
Another thing: Don鈥檛 ever share a tent with anyone who says they 鈥渄on鈥檛 really snore.鈥
To Hike
Hiking is pretty much just walking on dirt and rocks, so you don鈥檛 need a lot of specialized skills to do it.
Another thing: It鈥檚 different from walking in that you can get caught in a thunderstorm, get lost, and have unexpected things happen on the trail, so it鈥檚 not a bad idea to buy a rain jacket, a map, and a headlamp, and always let someone know where you鈥檙e going.
To Mountain Bike
Even a very slow mountain bike crash can be really painful.
Another thing: You don鈥檛 need an $8,000 mountain bike to get started (but they sure are fun).
To Ski
Taking a ski lesson may seem expensive when you鈥檙e first starting out (in addition to lift tickets, equipment, and ski clothing), but think of the money you spend on it as an investment in fewer shitty ski days in your first season鈥攜ou鈥檒l learn and get better way more quickly, and will spend less time flailing on the slopes your first ten times.
Another thing: Skiing fast doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e good.
To Ski in the Backcountry
As the saying goes, 鈥淭he avalanche doesn鈥檛 care if you鈥檙e an expert.鈥 Also, the inverse: The avalanche doesn鈥檛 care if you are blissfully ignorant of what causes avalanches.
Another thing: There鈥檚 no ski patrol in the backcountry.
To Snowshoe
Don鈥檛 try to walk backwards while wearing snowshoes.
Another thing: It鈥檚 really just walking, in snow, with big things on your feet.
To Flatwater Kayak
Push the paddle from your core, don鈥檛 pull it with your arms.
Another thing: It鈥檚 a lot easier to stay in a boat than to get into a boat after you鈥檝e flipped it.
To Trail Run
It鈥檚 usually slower than road running (i.e. it鈥檚 not just you), unless you鈥檙e on a perfectly groomed, flat trail (which a lot of people including myself would say isn鈥檛 really trail running).
Another thing: Rocks and roots may be taller than they appear.
To SUP
You can also sit and kneel on a SUP board, if that鈥檚 more comfortable at first.
Another thing: If you haven鈥檛 SUPed before, SUP yoga might have a pretty steep learning curve.
To Bike Tour
The slower you go, the more fun it is. Trying to hammer out as many miles as possible on a fully-loaded bike is a recipe for burning out. It鈥檚 a tour, not a race.
Another thing: Take care of your butt and it will take care of you.
To Bikepack
With a fully-loaded bike, there鈥檚 no shame in getting off and pushing it up hills.
Another thing: Bikepacking is just bike touring on dirt. Or bike touring without panniers. I think. I don鈥檛 know if anyone actually knows. Also, take care of your butt.