In February, I joined four strangers on an overnight dogsled expedition for beginners. They ranged in age from their twenties to sixties, and sat long hours around the campfire鈥攍aughing, roasting marshmallows for each other, and petting a yellow dog who squeezed along the snowbanks behind them, nosing for snacks. Each attendee had signed up for the trip alone; they鈥檇 never met each other before. But the mood鈥攁nd the conversation鈥攃ouldn鈥檛 have been better. If you鈥檇 told me right then, sitting around the fire, that we鈥檇 be extending the expedition for a month, I would have looked at my companions鈥 eyes sparkling in the firelight and thought: Yes. Bring it on.
Recently The Atlantic published a , which is caused鈥攊n part鈥攂y what we might call an epidemic of individualism: our own ongoing choices to stay siloed in tiny worlds. We work from home; we eat at home; we stream instead of going to the movies鈥攁nd the problem, as diagnosed in The Atlantic, isn鈥檛 so much that we鈥檙e lonely as that we鈥檙e not. We鈥檙e alone by choice, and we鈥檙e OK with it, in part because of the ways that technology intrudes on what used to be solo time. Let鈥檚 say you choose to take a quiet evening to recharge. But your phone鈥檚 lighting up constantly, and you owe so-and-so a text and so-and-so an email, and you should probably check socials just to see what disasters are happening in the news鈥 and by the end of the night, you haven鈥檛 spent quality time with other people or yourself. So you鈥檙e hungry for quiet, and stay home the next night and do the same, with the same result. As author Annie Dillard says, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives鈥攁nd a life of neither solitude nor companionship can leave us feeling consistently wrong.
The article strikes me partially as hand-wringing (I鈥檓 rarely compelled by arguments that other people are choosing to live their personal lives wrong) and partially as terrifying (it鈥檚 easier to hate people for their differences if you rarely encounter them). But I also wrote an outdoors advice column for almost a decade, long enough to notice deep grooves of recurring themes in the questions that readers sent in. Many readers鈥 problems were steeped, above all, not in solitude but in true loneliness; the theme came up so often that it was sometimes difficult to find questions to answer that weren鈥檛 about being alone. People struggled to make friends as adults, or after a move to a new location; they mourned when relationships drifted apart, and weren鈥檛 sure how to fill the gap. And yes, when you鈥檙e a hammer鈥攐r an outdoors columnist鈥攅verything looks like a nail, but it鈥檚 hard to ignore the degree to which time outdoors can heal these ills, at least when it comes to the particular forms they take in modern life.
When we go outside with someone, whether that means joining a meetup or organizing a trip with friends, we鈥檙e committing to spending time together in bulk: a two-night camping trip with a buddy means logging as many waking hours together as two years鈥 worth of monthly coffee dates. Researchers have found that the closeness of a friendship can, : that it takes roughly 50 hours to build a casual friendship, versus 200 to be in someone鈥檚 inner circle, and 聽that involved locking male strangers in a room together for ten days resulted in the men becoming, well, basically besties. If you鈥檝e spent any amount of time traveling or hiking with strangers鈥攐r even sitting around a campfire鈥攁nd experienced the intense bond that results, then this degree of rapid closeness may not surprise you at all.

I spoke to Jenny Baker, the founder of Sheventures, an outdoors camp for women in Tennessee, about how her campers make friends. She tries to make sure that 35 percent of the slots at each camp are saved for people who don鈥檛 know anyone else, so that they can meet and connect with one another. The strategy is so effective that now, nine years on, it can be hard for her to find enough solo travelers: previous years鈥 campers are now friends with each other, and choose to return together as a group.
鈥淚f we want to combat loneliness,鈥 Jenny told me, 鈥渨e can鈥檛 just find the places where people are connecting. We have to build those places intentionally. How do we ease the hurdles that people encounter when they鈥檙e making new outdoor friends? How do we make space for deep connection?鈥

Jenny鈥檚 found that not all outdoor activities are created equal when it comes to making friends. Paddleboarding and mountain biking require too much solitary focus, even when a group does them together. 鈥淗iking is great for introverts,鈥 she told me, 鈥渂ecause you don鈥檛 have to make eye contact while you鈥檙e talking.鈥 But the best activity she鈥檚 seen for building friendships, by far, is rock climbing. 鈥淵ou鈥檇 think it鈥檚 a solo sport, but it鈥檚 not. At camp, we might have three women on the wall and 20 women on the ground cheering for them. A climber might be scared. Maybe she鈥檚 tried for the next hold a few times, and keeps missing it. As women, we try not to take up space, so she鈥檒l say she鈥檚 done and someone else should go. But the women on the ground will literally not let her off the wall. They鈥檙e calling out, helping her. They鈥檙e completely invested. And when she succeeds, the cheering that erupts in the woods is incredible. It鈥檚 like everyone succeeded together.鈥
But what about after camp? How can people keep those intense bonds from drifting apart?
It turns out that the science of friendship can guide us here, too. For one thing, it鈥檚 OK for friendships to drift apart; we benefit from companionship at any level, and just because a friendship is short-lived doesn鈥檛 mean that it鈥檚 not important, or that it won鈥檛 be rekindled later. But if you find yourself making an outdoor friend that you really want to hold onto, just remember to do the opposite of what every true crime podcast tells you and go to a second location. Going from the trail to the pub, or making plans to meet up after camp, helps you to see each other in a different light, and also lets your new pal know that you care about them beyond convenience. And that choice鈥搕hat intention鈥揷an make all the difference between an outdoor friend and a friend for good.