Welcome to Tough Love. We鈥檙e answering your questions about dating, breakups, and everything in between. Our advice giver is Blair Braverman, dogsled racer and author of . Have a question of your own? Write to us at聽toughlove@outsideinc.com.
I am moving to pursue my dream job in another part of the world. Exciting, right? I鈥檓 thrilled about it. But there is one thing I feel apprehensive about. I鈥檝e always lived in New England, and I am very connected to the nature here. When I鈥檓 not working or sleeping, I am usually adventuring outside year-round. Now I鈥檓 going somewhere that has a completely different kind of environment, and I am afraid that it will feel like I鈥檓 leaving nature behind, because it鈥檚 not 鈥渕y鈥 nature. How do I connect to a new environment when I鈥檝e never had to do that before? I feel like the woods are my friend, and without them I will feel like I am losing myself a bit.
Congrats on your dream job! I think you鈥檒l find that if you鈥檝e connected to nature in one place, you鈥檒l connect well somewhere else, too. There will be differences between the landscapes, of course, and perhaps huge ones. But the skills you鈥檝e developed in the woods of New England鈥攁nd your keen senses of observation and wonder鈥攚ill apply just about anywhere you find yourself.
In fact, you may find yourself discovering parallels that you never anticipated. For instance, I鈥檓 most comfortable in the frozen north鈥攂ut when I traveled to the Namibian desert, I was shocked to find that in some ways, the landscape seemed familiar. Not the temperature, or the plant and animal species, but the scale of it: the fact that I was tiny in the face of a vast, open terrain. And as weeks passed, I noticed other similarities, including the simple but striking fact that both landscapes were defined in part by adaptation to a single scarce resource. In the northern winter, that resource was warmth; in the desert, it was water. Every creature, myself included, found ways to preserve and treasure that one precious thing. And when I left to head north again, I brought with me a deeper understanding of the frozen landscape I thought I knew.
It鈥檚 helpful to remember that nature is interconnected, and the same patterns emerge in ecosystems around the world. But here are some practical tips, too, as you find your footing:
1. Make Sure You Have Appropriate Clothing and Gear
You don鈥檛 want to head into the desert without plenty of water, or into the Alaskan wilds without protection from bears. If you鈥檙e not sure, go to the local gear shop and ask for recommendations, or pay attention to the people around you who seem to know what they鈥檙e doing. Do they wear long, light-colored sleeves to block the sun? A certain kind of boots or parka? Snake gaiters? Serious rain gear? Whatever the locals are wearing, odds are that you鈥檒l be happier and more comfortable if you wear it, too.
2. The More You Learn About a Landscape, The Better You鈥檒l Connect With It
You can learn on your own, simply by spending time outside and observing the nature around you, or you can sign up for an ecology class or a guided trip. Deep knowledge is a kind of love, and the more you know about the plants, animals, weather, and geography of your new environment, the more you鈥檒l feel at home.
3. Allow Your Body and Mind to Settle Into Your New Environment
You should take time to adjust before trying anything too intense, especially if you鈥檙e planning to head out solo. So even if you鈥檙e comfortable with six-hour cross-country ski trips in New Hampshire, you should start with much shorter jaunts in, say, Hawaii or Arizona. This isn鈥檛 just about your fitness and knowledge; it鈥檚 also physiological. It can take a while to acclimate to different temperatures, altitudes, and humidity levels,聽and you don鈥檛 yet know how your body will respond.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Change
Try to stay open to new adventures, even things you never imagined yourself liking. Surfing? Fishing? Snowmobiling? If you鈥檙e even a little bit curious about a local activity, now is a great time to give it a try. Know that adapting to a new landscape鈥攅ven coming to love it鈥攄oesn鈥檛 mean that you鈥檙e abandoning your beloved woods; it means that you鈥檙e holding both places聽in your heart.
5. Find a Way to Bring a Piece of Nature From Home With You
Grow a familiar plant in a pot, or decorate with dried flowers. Frame a photo or map of your favorite trails. Buy art from聽a regional artist to hang on the walls鈥攐r, if you feel inspired, make that art yourself.
You have a lot of adjustments ahead of you. You鈥檙e moving across the world, and adapting to a new job, culture, community, and possibly even language. But I think you鈥檒l find that nature itself will be a balm to your adjustment, not an added difficulty. When things get overwhelming, you鈥檒l be able to step outside into the natural world, where human challenges shrink away, and embrace a different kind of the same beauty that you love in New England. You may be saying goodbye, temporarily, to a beloved friend鈥攂ut I trust that you鈥檒l make a great new friend, too.