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Online reviews, in general: two stars
(Photo: Brendan Leonard)
Semi-Rad

The Life-Changing Magic of Ignoring the Ratings

The majority of my favorite days have been on trails that wouldn't make anyone's list

Published: 
Online reviews, in general: two stars
(Photo: Brendan Leonard)

New perk: Easily find new routes and hidden gems, upcoming running events, and more near you. Your weekly Local Running Newsletter has everything you need to lace up! .

Several years ago, I had an idea to collect some bad Yelp reviews of U.S. national parks for .

The AJ List: The 17 Best Bad Reviews of National Parks on Yelp

Since then, it鈥檚 been done quite a few more times.

Bad Yelp review screenshots

Back in 2014, I was entertained by the idea of giving a negative review to

America鈥檚 Best Idea

because I had thus far been pretty impressed with things like the Grand Canyon and Mount聽Rainier.

For sure, you can have a bad experience anywhere, and plenty of people review the parks to inform others about how the shuttle system works, or if it鈥檚 hard to find a parking spot, or something like that, and all those things can be useful. But the idea of someone straight-up rating a natural wonder of the world is still pretty comical, I thought.

Grand Canyon National Park review

When talking to other people about our experiences, sometimes we find ourselves saying things that sound objective.

Cartoon bubble opinions

We all want the best thing we can get in exchange for our time聽and/or money. Maybe you鈥檝e found yourself reading online reviews of books, movies, restaurants, vacuum cleaners, under-sink water filtration systems, skis, backpacks, power tools, running shoes, hotels, or hair salons. I have read thousands of them by this point, and sometimes I鈥檝e read them after buying or experiencing something and been a little shocked.

I took my car to a certain Subaru repair shop for years and loved it. I discovered later that it had awful Yelp reviews. I skied hundreds of runs in a pair of ski boots that lots of people apparently thought were garbage. (I didn鈥檛 have any problems with them.)聽I thoroughly enjoyed dozens of meals at a couple different restaurants whose online rating never got above 3.5 stars out of five.

I had a conversation once with someone who worked in a national park town, and they mentioned noticing a trend of people who were only interested in doing 鈥渢he best鈥 things during their visit. We started talking about the idea of 鈥渢he best,鈥 and I started to wonder:聽what is the best, really, and even if we can define it, is it really essential to have 鈥渢he best鈥 of everything?

Best things list

When you go into something thinking it will be a five-star experience, are you setting yourself up for disappointment? I think so. After all, on the five-star scale, something reputed to be five stars has nowhere to go but down. But if you have no expectations going in, well, the sky鈥檚 the limit, isn鈥檛 it?聽

About a dozen years ago, a couple climbers in the Wasatch started a thing called No-Star Tuesdays,聽in which they would pick a bunch of routes that a local guidebook had deemed to deserve zero stars聽and go climb them. They purposely went for the opposite of the best, and I think most of them would say they had a hell of a lot of fun doing it.

No star climbs text conversation

Author Dave Eggers, in an interview on , talked about the idea of Rotten Tomatoes, the movie review aggregator, and how scary it is that we鈥檝e somehow come to trust a rating system that has made it so that 鈥渁 messy, complicated form of art can be reduced to a number.鈥

Tomatometer vs Audience Score

Eggers said he thinks the Rotten Tomatoes concept of a good/bad metric for movies will be happening to all other forms of art in some way, and I guess it has already. I use Goodreads to keep track of the books I read, and if I鈥檝e learned one thing, it鈥檚 that if a book exists, someone will eventually take a figurative shit on it somewhere on the internet (and they probably already have).

Bad Charlotte鈥檚 Web reviews

I wonder: Can I survive on something other than five-star coffee? Can I enjoy three-star books, or trails, or a movie that has a sub-60 percent聽Rotten Tomatoes rating? Honestly, most days I think I鈥檓 more of a three-star breakfast burrito person than a five-star stacked-food person.

I wouldn鈥檛 turn down a day on any of the 鈥淏est Hikes Ever,鈥 but there are only so many of those, and I鈥檝e had a lot of days鈥攁ctually, no, the majority of my best days鈥攐n trails that don鈥檛 ever make anyone鈥檚 list and don鈥檛 get rated on TripAdvisor.

Best hikes ever Google search

I think that鈥檚 what I like so much about the idea of No-Star Tuesdays鈥攕omething that requires creativity and imagination, instead of just checking a 鈥渂est of鈥 list, and also says, 鈥淲e can have fun doing anything.鈥

I mean, can you imagine rating a sunset? Or looking at the view of El Capitan or the Matterhorn in early morning light and turning to someone and saying, 鈥淭his is fine, but it鈥檚 way better in late summer鈥? Or telling the happy couple, 鈥淐ompared to the last wedding I went to, yours has been, let鈥檚 say,聽three聽stars out of five.鈥

Supermoon: Overhyped?

I hope Dave Eggers is wrong in saying that we鈥檙e well on our way to building a world in which we can steer ourselves to only the highest numerically rated hiking trails, works of art, and other experiences.

And if he鈥檚 not wrong, well:

Online reviews: Not that helpful

Brendan Leonard鈥檚 new book, Bears Don鈥檛 Care About Your Problems: More Funny Shit in the Woods from , is .聽All images聽courtesy of the writer.

Lead Photo: Brendan Leonard

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