When I took听a role as 翱耻迟蝉颈诲别鈥s email marketing manager last October, I was full of joy and excited听to bring my abilities to such a successful company. As an avid reader of the magazine for years, I听noticed that it had progressed听to publish more stories from a diverse range of perspectives and people听in the outdoor community鈥攕omething important to me. I knew that if I was going to leave my job at NBC Sports, it had to be for a company that shared my passions and embraced my values. At 国产吃瓜黑料, I manage email sent to millions of subscribers each week, and with that comes continuous feedback, opinions, and rants about our stories, sponsors, and brand in general.听
In May, when I was asked to create our Pride Month听newsletter, I jumped at the opportunity. 国产吃瓜黑料 was (now 国产吃瓜黑料.)听in February and joined a team that included听incredible publications like Backpacker, Ski, Triathlete,听Yoga Journal, and many more. As part of the LGBTQ+ community myself, I was thrilled to collaborate with our various editors, and it marked the first Pride newsletter that encompassed different perspectives and experiences across all of our brands in the 国产吃瓜黑料 network.
But after I hit send on Friday, June 17, the negative responses flooded in听like a tsunami. I鈥檇 steeled myself for some backlash and hateful comments; I knew that as听国产吃瓜黑料 has continued to tell stories from LGBTQ+ and BIPOC perspectives, this has enraged many subscribers who are used to stories focusing on them鈥攚hether they realize it or not. But as 国产吃瓜黑料 continues to grow and evolve, so, too, do our ideas on the people and topics we want to cover.
Reading feedback is the job of an email marketer, but this time听it struck a more personal chord with me, because I鈥檓 a gay man. I鈥檝e endured听spiteful comments, like the ones I read at 国产吃瓜黑料 that day, throughout my entire life, from being bullied in school to being spit on and harassed in the streets by random strangers. However, I鈥檇 never experienced them听on such a scale.
Reading feedback is the job of an email marketer, but this time听it struck a more personal chord with me, because I鈥檓 gay man.
I grew up with a conservative father in the Air Force, and he had preconceived notions of the type of 鈥渕an鈥 I should be: he wanted me to play football, hunt, date women, and be more masculine. I loved soccer, volleyball, tennis, and swimming. I had a lot of girls who were friends, and I loved animals and conservation. Like most LGBTQ+ youth, I tried to prove myself, in every facet of my life, to seek my parents鈥 and peers鈥 approval. I was an honor-roll student and a multisport varsity athlete. I made a lot of friends, volunteered, and got a scholarship to college. But I was still unhappy every day. I did everything in my power to prove to everyone that I was straight, losing myself in the process. No matter what I did, everyone around me still questioned my sexuality.
Being a closeted gay athlete had its own battles. There was no one in the sports world to look up to. No stories were written about our experience, which is a unique one: from having to pretend to be interested in the constant banter about girls at school, to behaving more aggressively in practice so as not to come across as weak, to letting the 鈥渜ueer鈥 and 鈥渇ag鈥 comments slide off like they weren鈥檛 a dagger to the gut each time. These are just some challenges a gay athlete must endure in the sports world. I didn鈥檛 know where I fit in as a gay man and an athlete. I鈥檓 gay, but not that gay,听I would tell myself. I play sports but don鈥檛 know anyone else like me鈥攚hat鈥檚 wrong with me?
I also felt the ridicule from many athletes who were religious and who used their religion to justify discriminating against gay people, while simultaneously thanking God for their own accomplishments. I thought, if athletes can praise God for their achievements, why is it always an issue when LGBTQ+ athletes praise our community for helping us persevere through our struggles and a sports environment that continuously puts us down? It was a double-edged sword I couldn鈥檛 fathom. These were challenges I faced every day. Little did I know, I wasn鈥檛 being myself; I was being who everyone else wanted me to be.
The more visibility I saw, the more powerful I felt.
I began to embrace my true identity in college, learning about LGBTQ+ history in the U.S. and around the world. For the first time in my life, I was proud of who I was. I felt seen and validated, and I wasn鈥檛 adhering to anyone鈥檚 rules about who I should be or how I should act. Gay marriage was legalized the year I came out, and the women鈥檚 national soccer team won the World Cup鈥攁nd when they did, coverage panned to some of the players kissing their partners in the stands on national TV. Finally, I had someone I could look up to, people we could all look up to.
I knew that after college I wanted to work for a company that would allow me to have an impact on our community, particularly in media. I navigated my way to getting a job at NBC Sports, working on Olympics coverage听in the process. More and more LGBTQ+听athletes were not only coming out but succeeding in their respective sports. The more visibility I saw, the more powerful I felt. That鈥檚 why it鈥檚 important to talk about LGBTQ+ people in sports and the outdoors.
Since听taking my job at 国产吃瓜黑料, I鈥檝e been humbled and impressed with the content our magazine, website,听and sister brands have published about the LGBTQ+ community and its strides in the outdoor world. Not just because they are great stories and rarely told perspectives, but because of the positive impact听they have听on LGBTQ+ youth and people around the country. After my company heard about the hate mail that I鈥檇听received, an outpouring of support arrived in听my inbox from people around 国产吃瓜黑料, thanking me for my hard work, my collaboration, and my resiliency. This is the reason I took this job: to share the incredible experiences of all people in the outdoors. Pride Month isn鈥檛 about our sexuality; it鈥檚 about our struggle听and about those who have supported us鈥攁nd continue to. It鈥檚 an opportunity to learn about our experiences and celebrate the hurdles we鈥檝e overcome. In the midst of all the hate in my inbox, I received thanks from subscribers and readers as well. I know that if I can help or influence one person, all the negative comments will have been听worth it. I will continue to push the needle听and share our community鈥檚 point of view. My hope is that by doing so, I can help someone who feels like they have no one to look up to,听and show them that they are included, loved, and accepted outside.