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But as the pandemic summer passed by, our hikes have revealed themselves as essential learning experiences and a vital way to stay sane as a family.
But as the pandemic summer passed by, our hikes have revealed themselves as essential learning experiences and a vital way to stay sane as a family. (Photo: noblige/iStock)

A Parent’s Guide to Hiking with a Chatterbox

The pandemic has robbed kids of vital socialization with friends鈥攁nd put even more emphasis on the importance of spending time with them in nature. But what happens when your child is a nonstop yakker on the trail?

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But as the pandemic summer passed by, our hikes have revealed themselves as essential learning experiences and a vital way to stay sane as a family.
(Photo: noblige/iStock)

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My wife and I are about an hour into a hike up Atalaya Peak, a 9,000-foot mountain overlooking our hometown of Santa Fe. It鈥檚 a moderately difficult six-mile trail to the top and back, and we鈥檝e just arrived at the final stretch, where the ascent gets steep. Our only child, 11-year-old Henry, is still talking. And talking. In fact, he hasn鈥檛 closed his mouth since we stepped out of the car at the trailhead.听

For 90 minutes, Henry鈥檚 been describing his ideal home, a stream-of-conscience presentation about a 13-story building in a city somewhere (I think it鈥檚 New York; there are a lot of details to keep track of). His dream house mostly consists of some pretty swank rooms for playing video games and watching movies, but there is also a chef鈥檚 kitchen and pool tucked somewhere into the design.

鈥淲hat do you think? Does that sound like a cool place to live?鈥 he asks.

鈥淵eah, pretty expensive though. You鈥檇 better work hard and get a good job,鈥 I reply, checking the dad box by transforming something innocuous into a teachable moment. 鈥淥K, I have to focus on my breathing now, so if I don鈥檛 say much, that鈥檚 why,鈥 I tell him, feeling like a real jerk for basically announcing to my听son that I need a little break from his chatter.

It鈥檚 been a terrible year for all of us, especially kids. The pandemic听has eliminated the kind of routine social interaction we鈥檝e all taken for granted. No team sports, no movies, no museums, no sleepovers, no playdates. Parents face the dual tasks of making sure their听kids are getting the physical activity they need as well as trying to replace the lost hours of socialization. Fortunately, our family has at least had miles and miles of hikes to fill some of that void on both fronts.听

But it has been an adjustment. These are not quiet, contemplative walks in nature. Not with Henry. Each outing is part extended soliloquy听but also part endless Q and A听session. Like a lot of kids his age, my son asks a lot of questions. So. Many. Questions. Answering them all can feel like too much to bear sometimes, especially when I simply听want to admire听the changing leaves, listen to a stream roll by, or just not collapse while dragging myself up a slope.听

But as the pandemic summer passed by, our hikes have revealed themselves as essential learning experiences and a vital way to stay sane as a family. Given their sudden outsize importance, I had some questions of my own鈥攍ike, what drives a kid to filibuster like this, and am I听doing right by my son in our outdoor classroom? So I reached out to an expertfor guidance.听

鈥淭he brain, like other body parts, needs exercise to stay healthy,鈥 saysTracy Inman, associate director of the Center for Gifted Studies at Western Kentucky University. 鈥淔or our cardiac health, we know it鈥檚 important to do aerobic exercise, complete with sweating, huffing, and puffing. Athletic sweat looks very different from academic sweat. The gifted brain thrives on novelty and complexity. So听your son鈥檚 endless questions strengthen his brain. He鈥檚 connecting that new information you provide to what he already knows, understands, or is able to do. The more complex the information, the more his brain works.鈥

Apparently,听we鈥檙e doing something right: we try听our best to answer all of his queries, and he knows that no topic is off-limits. That has made for some uncomfortable moments, such as听when I had to explain why the internet thinks are so hilarious. (The first one was easy to decode; the latterrequired mild obfuscation.) Or: 鈥淲hy are golden retrievers such bad dogs?鈥 which he asked within earshot of people walking with two of them (without a leash, of course).

There are also the more serious questions, though, the things we have to talk about to make sense of what鈥檚 happening in the world. Those have spurred discussions about issues like racial inequality and gender identity听that might never have taken place while stealing moments between after-school activities and work deadlines in a pre-COVID world. I鈥檓 thankful that we鈥檝e had the time on our hikes to talk through important and uncomfortable subjects听without the interruptions of daily life.听

We also use the hikes to ask Henry听questions. 鈥淟istening is a given, but asking him questions is just as important,鈥 says Inman. 鈥淨uestions prove you are interested in what he is saying and serve as a way for him to dig a bit deeper.鈥

So even though I don鈥檛 understand most of the details he offers up in a half-hour description of how he would design his perfect video game or the layout for his proposed 100,000-square foot townhome, we ask for more information about it. An added bonus: it鈥檚 a welcome distraction when the hike starts to get difficult.

Our long-winded walking-and-talking sessions also address听the socialization challenge the pandemic continues to present, according to Inman. This surprised me.It鈥檚 been eight months since my son鈥檚 been around kids his age, and while听I like to think that we鈥檙e pretty cool parents (I mean, his grandparents would鈥檝e never let him watch Superbad), I know we can get boring. On our hikes, however, he鈥檚 getting to spend time with what Inman refers to as his 鈥渋dea-mates,鈥 helping to satisfy his curiosity. Each conversation promotes his intellectual and emotional development.

While marathon conversations can be as exhausting as a slog up a mountain, they鈥檝e听also been a learning experience for us. No adventure you鈥檒l read about on this site is as nerve-racking as taking care of a kid, but each trip is like a progress report, some assurance that we鈥檙e not raising a future junk-bond trader or an internet troll.

Most meaningful of all is that this is time we spend together. His teenage years are just over听the horizon; it won鈥檛 be long until he鈥檒l need and want to do other things besides hiking with his parents.I鈥檒l miss every long minute of these conversations when that time comes. And as much it tests our endurance, at this point, I鈥檓 afraid nature willsound lonely without his nonstop chatter.

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