It was my wife鈥檚 idea. In winters past we had seen our friend Craig, a 50-something father of three, turn his small backyard into a magical ice rink, complete with strings of lights and homemade ice lanterns. He鈥檇 been doing it for years.
鈥淲e should do that,鈥 Hilly announced one day in January. 鈥淟et鈥檚 ask Craig how.鈥
Every relationship has a dreamer and an accountant. On this matter I was the accountant. I didn鈥檛 want to be, I just was. By nature, I鈥檓 careful to commit. I fear failure, so I鈥檝e learned to preempt it. 鈥淚s it going to ruin the grass?鈥 I worried aloud. 鈥淲ill it flood the basement? I don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 cold enough.鈥 My heel-dragging on the rink became emblematic of my personality of inertia and grew into a point of marital contention. Hilly works full-time, but we both knew my schedule could accommodate a project like this. Still, I ruminated.
The universe intervened when I ran into Craig and his wife, Shelly. They were off for a hike up the mountain. I asked Craig if it was cold enough to make an ice rink.
鈥淪ure it is,鈥 he said. He tapped a small patch of ice in the road with his hiking pole. 鈥淵ou see that? That鈥檚 a little ice rink right there.鈥
I asked more questions, angling for some pessimism, some sense that the timing was wrong, that it wouldn鈥檛 work, that I should wait until next year. But Craig is an optimist. There鈥檚 nothing he can鈥檛 learn, and nothing he won鈥檛 try. He is very much like Hilly.
鈥淚t鈥檚 a great idea,鈥 he told me. 鈥淚鈥檒l swing by this evening.鈥
We were halfway through dinner when Craig arrived. He had walked from his house, about a mile away, and he was ready to get to work. I set down my fork and followed him into the backyard.
It was a dark evening, about 25 degrees, and Craig was dressed in a sheepskin jacket and a hat with earflaps. He looked like Ernest Shackleton. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e going to need a hose,鈥 he told me, pacing around in the snow, looking down like he鈥檇 lost something. 鈥淎nd a sprayer. You have a sprayer?鈥
I rummaged through the garage and emerged with a hose and a sprinkler.
鈥淭his should work,鈥 Craig said. He connected the hose to the faucet and the sprinkler to the hose and then walked around like an apparent madman, watering the snow.
鈥淣ow we pack it down,鈥 he said.

We started stamping the snow with our feet. Hilly came outside with our two boys, Theo, 4, and Julian, 1. Craig and I dragged the kids around on sleds. When Craig said we needed more weight, I got on the sled with both kids and Craig towed the three of us around in circles. Finally, we all linked arms and shuffled in a line like tantric dancers. 听听
鈥淥h yeah,鈥 Craig was saying. 鈥淥h yeah. This is nice. This is going to be nice. It鈥檚 like a piece of art, really. You鈥檒l see.鈥
Three hours later, we had compacted a large 30' x 20'听oval into a rippled field of white. Craig sprayed it lightly again and showed me how to blow the water out of the hose and drain it completely so it wouldn鈥檛 freeze and crack. He wished us luck and left.
I looked over the yard. It didn鈥檛 look like much. But with time, I could just imagine it becoming something special. 听
Craig is a flannel-clad craftsman of life. I met him and his family almost 15 years ago, when I was in college. They all looked cut from a Jan Brett book鈥攂right-eyed, homespun, and game. Craig always had a new hobby鈥攌nitting, rock climbing, riding a unicycle. He develops his own film. In the fall he gleans apples from neighborhood trees, runs them through a press he built, and brews hard cider. In the hours that remain, he鈥檚 a criminal defense attorney. He grew up playing pond hockey in Michigan and, as a rule, he gets up early.
The next morning, I was up early, too. It was 19 degrees. I sprayed a light layer of water on the snow and was just draining the hose when Craig鈥檚 Volvo pulled into our driveway and honked. It was 5:30 a.m.
鈥淛acob!鈥 he called out, without moderating the volume of his voice. He walked over and inspected the thin ice. 鈥淥h, we can put more water on this,鈥 he said. He set down his coffee and sprayed it some more. He started shoveling snow into the low points. He was a whirl of activity. 听
At this temperature, Craig said I could spray a layer every hour. I was already getting the hang of the routine, but I was curious about what lay ahead.
鈥淗ow many layers do you end up putting down before it鈥檚 a rink?鈥 I ventured.
鈥淥h, about 100 or so,鈥 he said.
For most of my life I鈥檝e endured winter. Now I was desperate for it.
So, over the next week and a half, that鈥檚 what I did. When the days were too warm, I鈥檇 go out at 2 a.m. to put down another layer. I started waking up at 4:30 a.m. I was sick with a sinus infection and not getting healthier, but I was committed now, attending to our ice like it was a newborn. Nights were wakeful. When I slept, I had nightmares about the whole thing melting. I learned its strengths and weaknesses. I fretted over it. I was invested now, because I had something to lose.
In the mornings I鈥檇 walk out, kneel down, and stroke it with my palm. It could be coarse, fragile, grainy, or slick. It had moods. I pressed my thumb against the end of the hose and showered water down on the ice. In places the ice was thin and brittle like glass, and the water hit these patches like a snare drum. In other spots the ice cracked, sputtered, and hissed. I鈥檇 stand there holding the hose in the dark, the whole world asleep, and watch Orion stride across the sky. When I鈥檇 come into the house, my frozen hand would stick to the door handle. 听
For most of my life I鈥檝e endured winter. Now I was desperate for it. I started obsessing over the forecast, and I dreaded any day over 35 degrees. I winced whenever the low sun crept over our neighbor鈥檚 roof and hit the rink. I vigilantly cleared off the dark maple seeds that absorb heat and burn holes through the ice. I patched the thin parts and added layer after layer of ice, as often as the weather allowed. Within a week it was lumpy and cratered. But when the boys walked on it, they fell on their faces. I听found that听promising.
Finally, on day ten, by the miracle of physics, the ice found its level. It was three inches thick, with a tidy berm of mounded snow around the edge. We strung globe lights above it. We made ice lanterns by freezing water overnight in a five-gallon bucket then flipping it over in the morning, pouring out the water in the middle that doesn't freeze and putting a candle inside鈥攁nother trick we learned from Craig. Hilly found some used hockey gear online, and we started skating around our yard, as relentlessly and unselfconsciously as children. Julian waddled around like a penguin in his snowsuit, catching snowflakes on his tongue. Theo teetered on his skates, wielding a plastic shovel and delaying the game by burying our puck in the snow.

Hilly started telling friends that the rink had changed her life. It wasn鈥檛 hyperbole. Any other winter weekday evening, we鈥檇 be cooped up inside, slavering for spring. But now, on the darkest days of the year, we are outside, breathing hard, moving. We don鈥檛 even have to drive anywhere.
I鈥檓 lucky to be married to Hilly because, frankly, she鈥檚 more fun than I am. It hasn鈥檛 been easy to come to terms with, but the examples abound. Just the other day before breakfast, she laced up her skates and walked out to the rink with a cup of coffee.
It was a frigid morning, and I stayed inside with the kids. We watched her through Theo鈥檚 bedroom window, our faces pressed against the glass at three different heights, our chests filled with three different measures of pride. She skated lap after lap, turning tight figure eights, flexing and twisting and gliding across the ice, absolutely absorbed. Then she came inside cheeks red and eyes a-glitter, like a Mary Oliver poem.
鈥淭he elk are up on the mountain,鈥 she said. 鈥淒id you see them? And eagles! There were five bald eagles circling above me!鈥
I knew then what I should have known all along: that in life and marriage, sometimes you鈥檙e the dreamer and sometimes you鈥檙e the accountant. There鈥檚 honor in both. But whatever your role, with a good partner any project is worth it. It will always, always be worth it.