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Everyone thinks they're a pro wrestler until dad gets involved.
Everyone thinks they're a pro wrestler until dad gets involved.
Indefinitely Wild

How I Stay Sane Owning Three Big Dogs

The products and approaches that make #packlife possible

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鈥淲hoa鈥 is probably the most common thing my fianc茅e, Virginia, and I hear when we鈥檙e out walking our dogs. Wiley, Bowie, and Teddy aren鈥檛 just big,聽they鈥檙e also energetic and independent. I think people look at them and see a challenge, which is accurate. But it鈥檚 a challenge you can overcome. Here鈥檚 how we manage it.

Good Vacuums

For some reason, there鈥檚 always been a high correlation between the types of dogs I want to own and dogs who are heavy shedders. All three of our dogs shed聽copious amounts of light-colored fur. This is particularly problematic because every floor in our new house is shiny and black; you couldn鈥檛 pick a surface more capable of highlighting every hair that falls on it.

The V8 has since been replaced by this V10, but the former remains available at a slightly lower price.
The V8 has since been replaced by this V10, but the former remains available at a slightly lower price. (Dyson)

So聽when we moved in last year, we splurged on a Dyson V8 Animal vacuum. A cordless handheld, it鈥檚 so light and maneuverable that it makes giving the house a once-over every day as easy as possible, and it鈥檚 powerful enough to capture the prolific shedding of all three dogs with just a single pass. Its unique perforated-metal filter also doesn鈥檛 clog with hair, so just emptying the container is all the maintenance it ever requires. That alone is worth the $400 price to me. I used to have to spend hours every month digging dog hair out of every orifice and cutting tangles away from the brush of our old corded vacuum.

Using the Dyson has become a daily ritual that takes about 15 minutes. That鈥檚 not a huge time investment, but on hectic days, it can feel like a burden. So聽to stay on top of the fur with guaranteed regularity, we also use a robot vacuum. Robot vacuums聽don鈥檛 do a good job鈥攐urs leaves probably 20 percent of the hair behind聽and can鈥檛 get聽into all of our home鈥檚 odd little spaces. What robot vacs are good for is doing a regular job. Cleaning up聽80 percent of the dogs鈥 hair every single day, even if we鈥檙e not home, is just a massive quality of life improvement for us. We use the Ecovacs Deebot N79S, which is a cheap ($200), simple, no-frills unit that nevertheless gets the job done.

Healthy Food

I鈥檝e previously written at length聽about the raw-food diet we feed our dogs. It鈥檚 worth revisiting聽because it really does make our lives easier in three extremely important ways.

The first is cost. With chicken from Costco that costs 79 cents a pound, my monthly expense聽for feeding 265 pounds of dog is about $300. That鈥檚 cheaper than if we fed them expensive kibble.

The second benefit is health. A properly put-together raw diet is the absolute healthiest thing a dog can eat. And just like with humans, a good diet is the best preventative medicine out there. All three dogs maintain a healthy weight with no additional effort, and none of them has had a single health issue of any kind since we made the switch away from processed foods. The first time I took all three聽to our new vet, he examined them and聽said, 鈥淲ell, you know what you鈥檙e doing.鈥 Then he talked to me about fishing for half an hour.

The third is poop. Eating raw meat, bones, organs, and vitamins, our dogs produce about half the total volume of poop they did when we fed them kibble. That poop is also firmer聽and breaks down into soil very quickly. I pick up our yard almost every day. Reducing the volume of poop I have to collect by half is a huge help with that.

I base our dogs鈥 diet on Kymythy Schultze鈥檚 book Natural Nutrition for Dogs and Cats. Check it out by clicking on the Buy Now link.

Lots of Exercise

When people see our big, boisterous dogs running around off-leash at top speed, they must imagine that鈥檚 how they behave at home. In fact, because we take them on that off-leash hike every day, the exact opposite is true. As I write this, two dogs are asleep on the couch next to me, and the other is asleep by my feet. Providing a dog with exercise appropriate for its size, age, and physical condition is the easiest way to ensure that dog鈥檚 good behavior. That well-exercised dog will be happier聽and less prone to troublemaking as a result, and it鈥檒l be more receptive of, and patient with, training.

Cheap Fleece Blankets

Our dogs love to sit on the couch聽or sleep in bed with us. With their shedding, and all the other fun dog stuff like drool, claws, and dingleberries, it鈥檚 way easier to prevent damage than it is to fix it. When we don鈥檛 have guests over, we keep the couch covered with cheap fleece blankets.聽We聽also use those for dog beds, car-seat covers, and kennel pads. They only cost $12 each, don鈥檛 soak up liquids, are easy to clean, and last forever.

A Dog Beater

Our 21-year-old 4Runner鈥檚 interior is currently awash with mud, fur, sticks, and leaves. And we don鈥檛 care about that one bit, because the vehicle聽only cost us a few grand. It鈥檚 kind of crazy that the most effective luxury item in our lives is a crappy old car, but by giving us the ability to take the dogs on those daily hikes without having to dirty and damage our nicer cars, it just saves us a ton of worry and hassle.

Of course, we use the 4Runner for other things as well. An old car you don鈥檛 have to care about is also the ideal vehicle to leave at trailheads, where break-ins are common, or take out when winter weather is really awful聽and the risk of accidents is higher. That it’s also ideal for transporting dirty dogs just adds to its value proposition.

An Aquapaw

I reckon this has cut the time it takes me to bathe all three dogs by two-thirds.
I reckon this has cut the time it takes me to bathe all three dogs by two-thirds. (Aquapaw)

My future mother-in-law gave me one of these $25 gadgets for Christmas. At first I was pretty skeptical, but because I鈥檓 strongly incentivized to keep her happy, I figured I鈥檇 better give it a try. Now聽I鈥檓 a total convert. By running a hose extension off your shower to a scrubby rubber sprayer you wear on your hand, the device reduces mess, speeds bath times, and boosts control of your dog. That鈥檚 important for me, because all three dogs hate baths聽and fight to get out of the tub as hard as they can. The Aquapaw allows you to hold onto a squirming dog with both hands and聽stroke them with running water, and you can control the water flow from the device itself. I wish they鈥檇 invent a hair dryer that works just as well.

Patience, Consistency, and Positive Reinforcement

Within the last month, Wiley has decided that he鈥檚 scared of the ceiling light in our bedroom聽and has started hiding behind the toilet at bedtime to avoid it. Bowie has adopted a $185 Pendleton pillow as his personal . Teddy chewed up both new rugs we bought for our living room. All of that could have driven us crazy if we鈥檇 let it, and it鈥檚 nothing like the complete picture of the shenanigans these dogs get up to.

The real trick to staying sane as a dog owner is to accept your dogs as the imperfect beings they are聽but also to work over time to help them become the best dogs they鈥檙e capable of being. The actual process of training a dog isn鈥檛 hard鈥攜ou reward good behavior鈥攂ut it鈥檚 the patience and consistency required to achieve results that challenges people.

Take Teddy鈥檚 chewing as an example. At ten聽months old, it鈥檚 totally normal and expected for a puppy to chew stuff. Only,聽at 95 pounds, she does a little more damage than a smaller pup might. When we catch her in the act, we just tell her no, then give her something she is allowed to chew (an antler or a toy) and聽praise her for it. That鈥檚 the approach that made Wiley and Bowie totally reliable, and I have no doubt that, with a few more months of work, we鈥檒l be able to trust Teddy in the house unsupervised, too. Exerting any energy on getting mad at her would be both counterproductive聽and a waste of time.

There are聽plenty of other behaviors we鈥檙e working on, not just with Teddy聽but with the older dogs, too. Staying sane while owning dogs聽involves making the decision to dedicate a big part of your life to them聽and accepting that dog ownership will always be an ongoing journey.

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