Joe Lindsey Archives - 国产吃瓜黑料 Online /byline/joe-lindsey/ Live Bravely Tue, 06 Aug 2024 15:02:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 https://cdn.outsideonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/favicon-194x194-1.png Joe Lindsey Archives - 国产吃瓜黑料 Online /byline/joe-lindsey/ 32 32 Are Modern Bicycles the End of DIY Maintenance? /outdoor-gear/bikes-and-biking/modern-bicycles-the-end-of-diy-mechanic/ Tue, 01 Nov 2022 14:41:15 +0000 /?p=2604906 Are Modern Bicycles the End of DIY Maintenance?

Bikes today perform better than ever, but many are too sophisticated for many home mechanics. What鈥檚 being lost?

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Are Modern Bicycles the End of DIY Maintenance?

Last spring, I finally dragged my Trek Checkpoint ALR5 out of the garage for a much-needed tuneup. I ride year-round, but it鈥檚 often difficult to regularly wash and tune a bike during winter in Colorado. The wear and tear from that neglect was mostly evident in the drivetrain, and after years of use, replacement was in order. Unfortunately, the Shimano Dura-Ace Di2 group that I wanted to install was already on another bike: a Factor Ostro VAM, which was the basis for this story on integration and uses a complicated, fully internal cable routing setup.

Getting the Dura-Ace parts from the Factor to the Trek would not be a simple task. It would involve buying at least $200 in tools and brushing off some rusty skills on hydraulic brake bleeds. And I needed to learn how鈥攐r even whether鈥攖he Di2 drivetrain’s electronic shift wire could be installed on the Checkpoint, which isn鈥檛 configured for full internal routing. The answer was obvious: Unless I wanted to make a substantial commitment of time and money, I would probably need a professional mechanic to do at least some of the work.

As a sometimes gear writer, former bike shop mechanic, and generally handy person who does nearly all of my own bike repair and maintenance, this was a new experience. But it鈥檚 one that cyclists are increasingly confronting. The technological advances on bikes today make them better to ride while also making them harder for home mechanics to fix.

Why does that matter? A bike that needs a pro mechanic for repairs costs more to service, for one. And working on your own bike conveys an intimate familiarity that is marked by accessibility and autonomy. As Matthew Crawford writes in the value of working on your own stuff can鈥檛 be reduced to a simple economic 鈥渙pportunity cost鈥 calculation of time and money. 鈥淭o fix one鈥檚 own car [or bike 鈥 Ed.] is not merely to use up time,鈥 he writes. 鈥淚t is to have a different experience of time, of one鈥檚 car, and of oneself.鈥 Cars long ago became complex enough to largely end the era of the 鈥渟hade-tree mechanic.鈥 If bikes are nearing that same inflection point, what do we lose?

Bike technology has always changed and improved; is it really so radically different now? In a word: Yes. You can split 鈥渕odern鈥 bikes (ie. since World War II) into two broad time frames. The first begins with Campagnolo鈥檚 introduction of the first drop parallelogram rear derailleur (1951鈥檚 Gran Sport) and ends at about the turn of the century. During this time frame, bike technology, and the mechanical skills and tools needed to service it, stayed relatively static. Sure, there were innovations like indexed shifting, integrated shifter/brake levers, and more powerful brakes; but drivetrains were mechanically operated by steel shift cables, brakes still used the simple technology of rubber pads on metal rims, and bottom brackets were (with rare exceptions) threaded. I recently tuned up a neighbor鈥檚 1987 Trek 560 Pro Series road bike and was struck by the raw simplicity of the technology. Foundational repair and maintenance skills learned in 1955 would have served you pretty well even in 1995.

The second era of modern bikes spans roughly from the turn of the century to today. We鈥檝e seen far greater changes in these 20-odd years than the 50 before them: hydraulic disc brakes, increasingly sophisticated suspension, electronic shifting, a proliferation of press-fit bottom bracket designs, cartridge bearings and design integration (think internal cable routing and proprietary cockpit and fork/headset/stem assemblies.) That’s not to mention the entire category of e-bikes with lithium batteries and light electric motors. To work on bikes today, a mechanic needs skills in electrical diagnostics and hydraulic systems, along with a slew of new tools like bleed kits and bearing presses with an expansive array of drifts.

I don鈥檛 mean to romanticize the old days. Few tools are more specialized (or fetishized) than the wood-boxed , versions of which still sell for thousands on eBay. And some repair jobs have always been tricky for even professional mechanics鈥攍ike having to 鈥溾 a frame鈥檚 bottom bracket shell, which could ruin a customer’s bike if done improperly.

In fact, some maintenance today is actually easier. Once electronic derailleurs are bolted to the frame and plugged in to power, you can do most of the tuning with just the shifter paddles in adjustment mode鈥攏o tools needed. And reference resources are now downloadable service manuals with part-specific, step-by-step YouTube videos for almost any repair (instead of the old hardcopy maintenance manuals and diagrams).

But generally, bikes today are more complex. The poster child for this shift is integration. Some aspects of integration have a meaningful impact on ride experience.听 Others鈥攍ike full internal cable routing鈥攕eem to exist primarily for aesthetics. And they can all make working on bikes a pain in the ass.

Don鈥檛 just take my word for it. When I took the Factor and Trek to Vecchio鈥檚 in Boulder, shop owner Jim said that it was going to be a lot easier to get the brakes off the internally-routed Factor and onto the Trek (with its downtube-only internal routing) than the other way around. I asked him how integration had changed his work. 鈥淪tem swaps,鈥 he said instantly. 鈥淯sed to be if someone wanted a longer or shorter stem I鈥檇 say, 鈥楧o you have five minutes?鈥 and do the labor for free.鈥 With some internally routed bikes, that鈥檚 now a multi-hour job that can cost $300 or more just for labor. Thankfully, manufacturers are responding with new routing designs that are more mechanic friendly. But older versions are sometimes so absurdly complex that a stem swap might mean you need to pull your crankset and bottom bracket. Jim said one recent bike build was so frustrating that he鈥攁 master mechanic with over three decades of experience鈥攎ore than once had to physically walk away for a few moments.

Aside from making repairs exponentially harder for little or no real benefit, the inexorable spread of electronic gear on bikes raises a related question about 鈥渞ight to repair,鈥 with which industries as diverse as farm equipment and consumer electronics are now wrestling. Increasingly, brands like SRAM are running diagnostics and maintenance of their electronic drivetrains through apps. Many e-bike motors are similarly serviced. This means brands have to support their product over its conceivable lifetime鈥攏ot just with spare parts, but with code. If our right to use, repair, and modify hardware depends on a software license, what exactly do we own?

Decreasing autonomy over bike repair may not be a negative for all riders. I know that not everyone enjoys working on their bikes. There鈥檚 also the opportunity cost of doing all your own bike maintenance. Every minute spent wrenching is a minute not spent riding, and since we own bikes to ride them, doesn鈥檛 it make sense to offload the mechanical stuff to someone else? Taking your bike to a shop also means supporting local businesses that have been hard-hit by the move to direct-to-consumer sales.

But I still think we鈥檙e all losing something鈥攂ecause I find immense value in working on my own gear. As bikes change, it鈥檚 even more important for me to learn how they work in order to retain some basic roadside and trailside autonomy. I鈥檓 not worried about forgetting how to change a flat tire, but keeping up with changes like tubeless, tire inserts, and other innovations is what will keep me rolling, not walking, home.

Plus, a better understanding of a bike’s mechanical nature can mean a better riding experience. In his new book philosopher and ex-pro racer James Hibbard writes, 鈥淛ust as the skilled musician becomes aware of aspects of their instrument which would be imperceptible to anyone else, the cyclist comes to understand on a preconscious, neuromuscular level, the sensations particular to their bike as they navigate a technical descent or thread their way through a field of riders.鈥 Only once you understand why and how a bike rides like it does can you adjust or modify it to better respond to your preferences.

But the benefits of home bike maintenance go far beyond the bikes themselves. I鈥檓 a pretty big fan of the idea that manual work has inherent practical value. As a kid, I was mechanically inept. The first time I tried to change a flat rear tire, the whole system seemed so foreign to me that I thought you needed to remove the chain to get the wheel out of the frame (you do not). Working on bikes has taught me more than specific maintenance skills. It taught me to see that the mechanical, physical world has a kind of rules-based order to it. If you examine anything with a curious eye, you can learn how it works, how to operate it, how to diagnose what鈥檚 wrong and fix it (or build it to begin with). And it鈥檚 an outlet鈥攁 meditation of sorts鈥攖hat allows my brain to wander and ultimately refocus, while my hands stay busy.

When it comes to maintenance on modern, high-tech bikes, I have two rules of thumb. First:听 If a repair involves an expensive tool I鈥檒l use once a year or less, just take it to the shop. Second, from ex-pro Phil Gaimon: Try any repair once with a glass of whiskey. If the repair takes longer than it does for you to sip the whiskey听 (and if the calming effects of the whiskey are negated by the stress of the repair), then take it to a shop. Keeping both of these in mind, I had Jim swap the brakes on my Trek.

But the drivetrain was a perfect challenge: novel, yet seemingly accessible. So I found myself stringing Shimano e-Tube shifter wire through holes on the Checkpoint’s bottom bracket shell that are not designed for cable routing. Then I听 used a heat gun to reinforce the shifter wire at the exits with shrink-wrap tubing. In the end, the bike rides beautifully, I learned a ton, and I鈥檓 proud of my problem-solving. When it鈥檚 time for a brake bleed, I鈥檒l probably buy one or two new tools because I want to improve my proficiency.

That Boulder bike shop, Vecchio鈥檚, is named after an Italian term meaning 鈥渙ld man鈥 or 鈥渙ld way.鈥 Sometimes, working on bikes to the degree that I do, I feel a resemblance. When I if riders were doing less than or the same amount of their own maintenance and repair than the past, many said less, citing increasing complexity and hesitancy about their skills, tools cost, and time. But some still do most of their own work, and that鈥檚 where I鈥檓 at too. I recognize that there are always going to be jobs past my abilities and interest (like suspension overhauls or, if I get an e-cargo bike, motor service). Those, I鈥檒l happily take to a shop. For the rest, maybe vecchio has a third meaning: that continuing to work on bikes is my way, as integral to my connection with the sport as riding them.

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Why You Should Buy an E-bike Instead of an Electric Vehicle /outdoor-gear/bikes-and-biking/why-you-should-buy-an-e-bike-instead-of-an-electric-vehicle/ Thu, 08 Sep 2022 17:52:20 +0000 /?p=2598879 Why You Should Buy an E-bike Instead of an Electric Vehicle

Whatever your reason for considering an EV鈥攜our wallet, the environment, or practicality鈥攁dding an e-bike is a far better choice than replacing your current car

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Why You Should Buy an E-bike Instead of an Electric Vehicle

Even before Russia鈥檚 invasion of Ukraine caused oil prices to shoot up, electric vehicles were having a moment. The ad lineup for the Super Bowl is a reasonable barometer of automakers鈥 priorities, and for the 2022 game, six companies, from Chevy to newcomer Polestar, ran commercials featuring (up from just one last year).

Of note for outdoorsy folks, the lineup is clearly shifting from dainty Priuses (Prii?) and Leafs (Leaves?) to brawny electrified Silverados and Cybertrucks. From the new Ford F-150 Lightning to Rivian鈥檚 R1T鈥攚hich will feature a perfectly 鈥檊rammable camp kitchen made in collaboration with Snow Peak鈥攖he auto industry is getting very close to offering EVs that are every bit as camping-trip-worthy, ski- vacation-worthy, and generally adventure-worthy as their internal-combustion-powered cousins.

So you might be tempted to upgrade: If you could have all the utility your current rig offers, free of both the cost and guilt of fossil fuels, what鈥檚 not to love, right?

Aside from availability (that electric Silverado is , for instance), there鈥檚 another reason to slow-roll your enthusiasm. While EVs are better choices than internal-combustion (ICE) cars and trucks on some measures, they still come with big costs, literal and figurative. I鈥檓 here to make a different argument: Whatever your goal鈥攖o save money, the planet, or your sanity and health鈥攖he EV that will change your life isn鈥檛 a car, truck, or SUV. It鈥檚 an e-bike.

I can hear the guffaws and but-but-buts already.

鈥淚 can鈥檛 go skiing with an e-bike!鈥

鈥淭hat cargo bike won鈥檛 fit a fifth of my car-camping gear.鈥

鈥淚鈥檓 a contractor!鈥

We can 鈥渨hat if鈥 all kinds of specific scenarios for which an e-bike doesn鈥檛 work. And if you need a new vehicle to replace that beloved early-aughts Tacoma with 300k on the odometer and enough rust that you can almost see through the floorboards, by all means, make your next four-wheel vehicle an electric. What I’m advocating here is not a Cort茅s-burned-his-ships moment where you forgo four-wheel transportation entirely. I’m saying keep your old car; get an e-bike, and use it to replace car trips. I’m saying that I want that stat about the to go up even more. I鈥檓 saying that even for skiers, car-campers, and contractors some of the time, this works because an e-bike, especially today鈥檚 cargo variety, is actually far more capable for your daily use than it seems.

Americans like SUVs and trucks because they鈥檙e rugged, capable, and versatile. They can haul lots of stuff, and you can mod them or add accessories to make a sweet overlanding/car-camping rig. But as Strategic Vision鈥檚 of 250,000 vehicle owners notes, roughly a third of pickup truck owners . Sure, car camping relies on a car. How many days a year do you camp, really? The rest of the time, that devotion to maximum utility means we鈥檙e severely over-gunned, using a 4,000-pound vehicle : to inefficiently to and from work, schlep 50 pounds of food home from the local grocery store, or drive a handful of miles to the trailhead for a run. That鈥檚 all stuff an e-bike . And camping, .

With our actual, daily use in mind rather than our imagined #livingmybestlife version, comparing four wheels (ICE or EV) to two, an e-bike comes out clearly on top on almost every measure. And people are noticing. The last two years, in the U.S. Recent research shows there鈥檚 if cities have safe infrastructure; some 70 percent of people in the 50 largest metro regions in the U.S. say they would like to ride more, but don鈥檛 because of concerns about safety in traffic. That鈥檚 not just recreational riding: a recent McKinsey survey found .

All of that says that the smartest play鈥攆or your wallet, for the planet, and for your health and happiness鈥攊sn鈥檛 to swap your gas guzzler for an EV, but to keep your current vehicle and buy an e-bike to use as a second (or first!) vehicle for all the stuff for which it鈥檚 a far better choice than a car.

For Saving Money

One big aspect that attracts people to EVs is on things like fuel and maintenance. Fuel costs to drive an ICE vehicle 10,000 miles a year (about $700-$1600) are roughly two to four times the cost to charge an EV for the same amount of driving, according to . Gas has : $1,840 for the average vehicle studied, which widens the gap further. You can estimate your specific costs in AAA’s new .

But for e-bikes, costs are dramatically lower than either ICE or electric vehicles, thanks in part to the relatively tiny batteries and the fact that e-bikes鈥 hybrid power source (electric and human) makes them highly efficient. In the heaviest use-case scenario鈥攔iding so much that you fully drain the 500 watt-hour battery 365 days a year, and living in (Hawaii)鈥攖he cost to ride an e-bike would be a little over $50 per year. Half that use, at national average electricity costs, your annual fueling cost would be $10, or about 2.5 percent of the cost of EV charging.

What about other costs, like registration, insurance, and depreciation? Factor in those and you can expect an EV to cost you about $7,500 per year ($2,500 without estimated depreciation), says AAA. That鈥檚 about mid-pack measured against various ICE vehicle styles. So unless you’re stepping down from a full-size ICE pickup or SUV, you won鈥檛 actually save much, if any, money switching to an EV.

There isn鈥檛 a single great resource for ownership cost of bicycles; estimates range from as low as $100 to . Both are wrong, in my view; the lower estimate doesn鈥檛 realistically cover maintenance costs, while the higher one attempts to account for fueling in terms of extra calories for the rider. But bikes are already among the ever created, and a lightweight electric motor means you鈥檒l burn fewer calories to ride, not more (). In short, the extra calories burned by pedaling are a rounding error in the scheme of your normal diet.

Maintenance? Riding a few thousand miles a year, figure you鈥檒l go through two tires (the priciest e-bike tires are about $80 each) and two chains ($60 per chain for a high-quality e-bike specific model). Add another $50 for labor for all that. Annual complete tuneup? About $100. Miscellaneous repairs like a flat tire or brake adjustment? Another $50 to $70.

So your total cost to operate an e-bike, including charging, would be around $500 a year. That鈥檚 about $2,000 less than it costs to operate an EV, and closer to $6,000 less if you factor in squishy costs like depreciation, for both an EV and a bike. You鈥檙e not saving the full $2,000, however. Since you kept your current car, you鈥檒l still have a lot of those costs.

If you drive 10,000 miles a year normally and cut that by a third with your e-bike, you鈥檒l save about $225-525 on gas at $4/gallon. Maintenance savings are harder to directly measure, but figure you鈥檒l save 25 to 50 percent there too (another $200 to $400, ballpark). If you can get your car mileage under 5,000 a year, you (modestly) lower your insurance costs by switching to a low-miles plan. All told, you鈥檒l save $400 to $900 a year just by replacing a third or so of your car miles with bike miles. Drive less, save more. And you still have a car.

For Fighting Climate Change

Transportation is鈥攏arrowly鈥 in the U.S. And cutting miles by switching to a bike is also the most effective way to cut your carbon output from transportation. That鈥檚 because any vehicle has a total carbon footprint broken down into two parts: creating it (production phase) and operating it (use phase). The figure that captures both of those is called a Life Cycle Assessment.

Life Cycle Assessment (LCA) is usually expressed in terms of grams of carbon dioxide produced per mile driven, which spreads the carbon produced in making the product over its estimated lifespan. According to Tesla鈥檚 , a grid-charged Model 3 in the U.S. has an LCA of 180g/mile, it lasts about 200,000 miles with only minor repairs (aka it doesn鈥檛 need a new battery pack). It鈥檚 worth noting that figure is for a sedan; an E-SUV or truck would have a higher per-mile cost. That figure jumps around depending on how it鈥檚 charged. In Europe, says Tesla, the Model 3鈥檚 LCA drops to around 120g/mile thanks to electricity production that relies more on renewables and nuclear than our domestic power supply, while in China鈥檚 coal-and-gas-heavy grid it鈥檚 over 300g/mile.

In any case, using the U.S. figures, that means a Model 3, in its lifetime, will produce 36,000kg, or almost 40 tons, of carbon dioxide emissions. (A typical ICE vehicle over the same lifespan.) For an EV, by far the biggest chunk of carbon emissions comes from creating it. Your current vehicle, of course, already exists; the carbon emissions from creating it are already a sunk cost. Just riding a bike rather than driving lowers both the carbon emissions from the car’s use phase, and negates the massive carbon emissions that would come from buying a new EV. This is basically Patagonia’s at a scale that dwarfs trying to get another ski season out of those shell pants.

What about bikes, though? They have a carbon cost too, right? Last year, as part of its sustainability initiatives, bike brand Trek at the carbon footprint of its products. Trek’s average bike requires 174kg of CO2 to produce. The only e-bike included in the analysis鈥攖he full-suspension Rail mountain bike series鈥攊s a decent proxy for cargo bikes in its aluminum-framed versions, and requires 190 to 240kg of CO2 to produce.

Factor in charging costs (it takes two to three percent of the energy needed to charge a standard EV), and an e-bike ridden 2,000 miles a year has an LCA of about 10-15g/mile if it lasts 10 years on the original battery, frame, and motor. That鈥檚 12 to 18 times more efficient than a Tesla on a per-mile basis, literally an order of magnitude smaller than for even an EV charged completely via renewable energy. Doubt my math? shows very close results.

As the energy grid (hopefully) shifts away from fossil fuel sources toward more renewables, that will drop the total carbon cost of all electric transportation. If that doesn鈥檛 happen, or happens slowly, , but at a substantially lower level. One new study estimates that, if the current fossil fuel-heavy grid doesn鈥檛 shift more toward renewables, half of all the benefits of increasing EV use from rising electricity use, which makes carbon-efficient transport like bikes even more important.

None of this, by the way, addresses the carbon footprint of infrastructure, and last time we checked electric cars weren鈥檛 any smaller or lighter than ICE cars. The (176kg) is slightly less than what Trek emits making the average e-bike. Bikes still need lanes and parking too, of course, but ; you can park five to 10 bikes in a single car space, for instance.

For A Better Life

When it comes to capability, a car or truck seems like the clear winner, right? And in some situations鈥攔eally bad weather, when you need to carry a lot of stuff, or if you鈥檙e headed out of the city and into the wilderness鈥攖hey鈥檙e absolutely preferred.

But bikes, especially the cargo variety, are surprisingly versatile, since car trips are often single-occupant () and short-distance (60 percent of trips are ),听carrying small cargo loads like groceries or none at all. Even compact cargo bikes can haul at least 350 pounds including the rider. Urban Arrow鈥檚 acclaimed Family frontloader model has 16 cubic feet of cargo capacity in the box: plenty spacious enough for a Costco run. Need to ferry people around as well? Whether longtail, compact, or frontloader style, most cargo bikes can also carry two to three people (two adults or an adult and two kids). And check out the Twitter hashtag for inspiration on all the stuff you can realistically carry on a bike.

Other benefits? You get free VIP parking everywhere you go. You鈥檙e never stuck in traffic. Commuting or erranding by bike means you get exercise while getting stuff done, creating more free time to spend with family, friends, or doing things you love. And cargo bike converts can all tell some variation of how riding has helped deepen their interactions and adventures with their family, how the kids never get bored and love taking 鈥渢he big bike鈥 instead of the car.

That extra life satisfaction might be one of the biggest dividends of mode-switching, although it鈥檚 hard to measure. But it鈥檚 not the only quality-of-life metric. Riding instead of driving actively makes your city a more pleasant place to live, for everyone.

That鈥檚 because electric vehicles sidestep only one small part of what makes personal car ownership such a stubborn problem for cities. They may run on electricity, but they鈥檙e still cars, and you don’t fix car problems with a different kind of car. A new analysis from Germany estimates that the average person鈥檚 Roughly a third of that is what economists call externalities: costs paid by other people, in the form of time lost to traffic congestion, higher mortality from and , and the effects of climate change.

EVs are absolutely a vital part of fighting climate change, and will play an essential role in greening our transportation system. But they are not, in themselves, a fix. As Peter Norton, professor at the University of Virginia and author of 鈥溾 , an EV is an improvement on cars “like a filter is an improvement on a cigarette.鈥

All this time, we鈥檝e been talking about e-bikes, which raises the question: Why couldn鈥檛 you just do this with regular, pedal-only bikes? You can, of course. But the addition of lightweight electric motor-assist is the secret sauce that transforms the e-bike experience for utility riding.

E-bikes simply change the geometry and geography of a city. They shrink distances and flatten hills. The motor boost of two to three times your normal power output turns errands and hauling even heavy cargo from an arduous grind that only the most committed (and fit) environmental activist would consider into an enjoyable enterprise accessible even to people trying to change a sedentary lifestyle. They鈥檙e horizon-expanders, daily adventure-enablers, and conversation-starters鈥攕ay, when rolling past the line of cars at school to pick up your kids. E-bikes, along with other forms of micromobility and a sustained investment in transit, are the keystones to healthy, carbon-neutral transportation in cities, ending dependence on fossil fuels and depriving autocratic regimes of .

If any of what I鈥檝e talked about matters to you, then keep your car for as long as you can. Just drive it less, and replace those miles with an e-bike. Try it for three months. I doubt you鈥檒l go back.

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Russell Wilson鈥檚 Supersized Truck Might Have Finally Ended My Devotion to Football /culture/essays-culture/russell-wilson-truck-training-camp/ Wed, 03 Aug 2022 18:14:18 +0000 /?p=2593015 Russell Wilson鈥檚 Supersized Truck Might Have Finally Ended My Devotion to Football

What is a bike-riding, planet-loving football fan like me supposed to do?

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Russell Wilson鈥檚 Supersized Truck Might Have Finally Ended My Devotion to Football

National Football League training camps are underway, so sportsball media can finally start reporting important news, like what kind of vehicle star quarterback Russell Wilson drove to the first practice with his new team, the Denver Broncos.

Really: about the arrival of players at training camp, and one lead item was this Wilson , which contains a carefully constructed shot of the Broncos quarterback walking away from a massive pickup truck as he heads to work.

鈥淵ear 11,鈥 he wrote, referencing his total number of seasons in the league. 鈥淪till got that new car smell!鈥

Uh, yeah, about that. The hulking truck鈥攚hich 鈥攍oomed over the quarterback, who, as detractors constantly note, is short by NFL standards at five foot eleven. @DangeRussWilson鈥檚 lifted Dodge Ram 2500 is a heavily modified urban assault vehicle, which includes a burly steel bullbar called the Stealth Intimidator. (Yours for only $5,800!) It鈥檚 more suited for the Ukrainian defense of Donbas than the mean streets of (checks notes) suburban Denver.