国产吃瓜黑料

GET MORE WITH OUTSIDE+

Enjoy 35% off GOES, your essential outdoor guide

UPGRADE TODAY

turkey vulture Shelby North Carolina federal law North Carolina State poop
Good one, turkey vulture! Stop trying to act so scary and go poop on something, you dumb bird.

How a Tiny Southern Town Handles a Turkey Vulture Invasion

In short: they clean up a lot of poop

Published: 
turkey vulture Shelby North Carolina federal law North Carolina State poop

New perk: Easily find new routes and hidden gems, upcoming running events, and more near you. Your weekly Local Running Newsletter has everything you need to lace up! .

Sandy had a fine little life in Shelby, North Carolina. She had a couple of kids and a solid house in which to shelter them and even a lovely little backyard complete with a sandbox and a trampoline.

And then the turkey vultures came.

They鈥檙e giant vultures鈥攖he size of eagles and with a wingspan that reaches five to six feet鈥攂ut far more terrifying. Soaring through the sky, they look pretty cool, majestic even, but then they land and what happens next is as disturbing as their gnarled, bald heads.

Sandy and her neighbors have the things roosting on their roofs, crapping on their decks, destroying their sandboxes and trampolines. The birds are screwing up everyone鈥檚 garbage and yards. They鈥檙e scaring the parents of smaller children and the owners of Chihuahuas. Kids are scared to play out front, and parents are pretty sure they wouldn鈥檛 let them even if they wanted to. The birds wreck shingling and tear at caulking, and it sounds entirely possible that they鈥檙e trying to rip their way right into your house to come and get you.

Worst of all, the government鈥檚 clearly in on it; you can鈥檛 even shoot them because the birds are a federally protected species.

It鈥檚 straight-up Hitchcockian.

THE INVASION BEGAN THREE years ago. The town of 20,000 near the mountains of Asheville usually gets its fair share of the things鈥攁nd 鈥渢hings鈥 is really the right word鈥攃oming through the area around this time of year, passing through on their migration south. But three years ago they stopped leaving. Of every species of bird that migrates in large packs, turkey vultures are by far the largest.

Kristen Duren, an intern at the and a senior at North Carolina State University, has pretty much become the local turkey vulture authority this year.聽鈥淚t鈥檚 probably the most unique situation in any educational program that any intern at State has tackled,鈥 says Duren.

Ordinarily, swarms of turkey vultures stop in Shelby for a few months during their migration south. According to Duren, they鈥檝e started staying around because the Shelby winters haven鈥檛 been cold enough to keep pushing the birds down to Florida.

鈥淭echnically, they have a home range here that lasts several months,鈥 she says, 鈥渂ut when they鈥檙e in those large groups, they鈥檙e supposed to keep migrating south, but instead they鈥檙e just staying.鈥

After consulting with biologists at the United States Department of Agriculture, Duren鈥檚 been doing all she can to keep Shelbyians in the loop about the creatures and how to deal with them. Unfortunately, the truth about turkey vultures is not quite so scary, maybe sort of funny, and most definitely gross.

They鈥檙e peaceful creatures who only eat dead things. They鈥檙e more dangerous for roadkill than Chihuahas and children. The biggest threat they pose to people is that they are absolutely disgusting. They smell awful. They can spread diseases because of all the dead stuff they eat.

If you try to scare these filthy beasts off by running at them and banging metal pans together or firing guns in the air, all that you鈥檒l really accomplish is setting off their defense mechanism, which is terrible. They vomit, because their stupid brains say this: 鈥淲hatever鈥檚 scaring you wants to eat you. So, you should vomit because whatever is scaring you will eat your vomit instead of you.鈥 Brilliant, these birds.

You鈥檒l probably get a good laugh out of it, though, because the birds are basically the eagle鈥檚 drunk cousin. When they run away from you, they have this hopping, stumbling gait, and for them to take off and fly, they have to furiously flap their giant wings and jump up and down.

Despite all of that, a little research reveals that these things are actually kind of kickass.

鈥淭hey are a keystone species for the ecosystem, that鈥檚 for sure,鈥 says Duren. 鈥淭hey serve a very vital purpose that, you know, I wouldn鈥檛 want to do.鈥

She means: They鈥檙e good for the environment because they clean up roadkill. They only eat roadkill and such if it鈥檚 been dead less than 24 hours, though. After all, they do have standards.

The Cherokee Indians considered turkey vultures to be glorious. They gave the birds a way better name than 鈥渢urkey vulture鈥 because of their beauty鈥攚hich is debatable鈥攁nd how they鈥檙e able to survive without killing anything. They called them 鈥淧eace Eagles.鈥 So, yeah. There鈥檚 that.

But forget all that, say the people calling Duren to get help.

RIGHT NOW THERE ARE , and they鈥檙e all using basically one or two blocks along Peach and Phillips Streets as both a staging area鈥攚here the birds all meet up to talk about the different dead things they found鈥攁nd a roosting area, where they sleep.

鈥淗aving 150 vultures in your backyard isn鈥檛 exactly nice and pleasant,鈥 Duren says, 鈥渁nd it doesn鈥檛 do anything for property values.鈥

Several homes in the area have been abandoned and put up for sale by homeowners who got sick of the birds, and now they鈥檙e sitting vacant because nobody wants to buy a house covered in turkey-vulture feces.

The government will seriously punish you if you actually kill one鈥攐r even try to capture one, for that matter. Turkey vultures are protected under federal law not only , but . You violate that law in the U.S., you鈥檒l face up to $15,000 in fines and even a six-month prison stay.

So you can鈥檛 shoot them, you can鈥檛 capture them, you can鈥檛 even really scare them … the heck are you supposed to do?

Thus far the most effective method of battling the turkey vultures has been to hang effigies of the birds upside down in an infested area. Duren has three of them that her office loans out. They look just as … fantastic … as the real thing: movie-prop quality and made with real feathers. When the turkey vultures see one of their own hanging upside down like that, they think it鈥檚 been trapped or killed or something, and they get scared of the area and stay away.

Duren says their goal isn鈥檛 to completely run the birds out of town, but they would like to spread them out and 鈥渕ake them a little less intimidating.鈥

The vultures have sparked a heated among members of the Shelby community. A lady named Jean said, 鈥淚 think they are a beautiful expression of life and enjoy watching them fly above my neighborhood.鈥

鈥淟ove these birds!鈥 said Betsy. 鈥淲e enjoy seeing them in Mama and Daddy’s yard.鈥 While Doug added:聽鈥淭he most magnificent soaring bird we have.鈥

But then, that which flies magnificently must at some point land, and when turkey vultures land they make a magnificent mess. That鈥檚 what Sandy pointed out, sharing her story of destroyed trampolines and sand boxes. Hers was one of the only comments bashing the birds, but it was the longest and most detailed, and others who might be able to share her concerns were presumably preoccupied with cleaning up giant bird droppings and patching holes in their roofs.

Even still, said a fella named Maurice, 鈥淚鈥檇 take them over pigeons.鈥

However the Shelby townsfolk feel about the birds, it seems they鈥檝e all at least adapted to their presence, and that鈥檚 good, because a very special time of the turkey vulture year just began: breeding season.

Brandon Sneed is a writer based in North Carolina who covers everything from blind Army heroes to … well, turkey vultures, apparently. You can reach him at聽听补苍诲听.

Popular on 国产吃瓜黑料 Online