Welcome to听Tough Love. We鈥檙e answering your questions about dating, breakups, and everything in between. Our advice giver is听Blair Braverman, dogsled racer and author of听. Have a question of your own? Write to us at听toughlove@outsideim.com.
During the COVID shutdowns, I have become highly motivated to get outdoors.听In particular, my heart is set on a rim-to-rim hike of the Grand Canyon.听I have minimal outdoor experience, but I have been doing my research (I am a nerd by trade), and have plans to start with smaller day hikes and overnight trips to build up endurance and experience.听I don鈥檛 have any friends or family who would want to go with me, and everyone I have floated the idea by reacts like I鈥檝e told them I鈥檓 skydiving without a parachute.听 None of them are outdoorsy either,听so I don鈥檛 know how much weight to give their criticism.听I feel nervous, due to inexperience, but I鈥檓 not particularly afraid of the goal. 听
So my question is this:听Just how dumb is it for a small, twenty-something听woman to hike alone?听Is it really as stupid as my family makes it out to be?听What advice should I absolutely know before I get out there?
I can鈥檛 promise you that it鈥檚 safe to hike alone. But I can tell you that I enjoy it鈥攁nd I know a lot of other female hikers do, too. As long as you consider the dangers of a particular adventure, do what you can to minimize them, train appropriately, and make backup plans for if things go wrong, then you鈥檙e not being foolish; you鈥檙e being true to yourself. 听
Danger and safety in the outdoors are, in many ways, subjective and variable. For instance, I鈥檇 feel comfortable heading out on a multi-week trek in the northern climates I know best, but if you asked me to walk five miles alone in the Arizona summer, I鈥檇 probably opt out, because I know that I鈥檓 sensitive to heat. It鈥檚 not that one trip is inherently safer than the other; it鈥檚 just safer for听尘别.听It all comes down to your skills, your body, and how well you know the environment.
In order to hike the Grand Canyon in a way that鈥檚听relatively听safe, you should aim to reach levels of competence in those three categories. You鈥檒l want to build your hiking and camping skills in general, mainly by practicing鈥攚hich it sounds like you鈥檙e already doing. You should train your body to complete a steep 20-odd-mile hike with a heavy pack. And you can study the Grand Canyon itself鈥攔outes, plants and wildlife, terrain. (Optional homework for a self-professed nerd: learn about the region鈥檚 history and geology, and learn to identify a few plants by name. That knowledge isn鈥檛 strictly necessary for this adventure, but it can bring depth听to your experience.)
The last factor in your question is that you鈥檙e female, which means your safety concerns may be less about nature and more about other听people. Personally, when I鈥檓 outdoors alone, I鈥檓 most comfortable in places where there are either frequent passersby or basically nobody (I prefer the latter). You might consider planning your trip for a time when there will be more or fewer people on the trail, depending on your preferences. You could also buy or rent a satellite tracker for emergency communication.
If you do decide that you鈥檇 feel better with a partner, or just have more fun that way, I鈥檇 turn to the internet: check out hiking forums, hashtags, and social-media groups. You don鈥檛 need to convince someone you know to undertake a wild adventure鈥攜ou can find someone who dreams of the same adventure, and make friends that way.
And whatever you do, whoever you go with, I鈥檓 excited for you. You鈥檙e听planning something extraordinary, and you鈥檙e definitely not going to be inexperienced for long.
How can I get excited about planning a solo outdoor adventure this fall or winter? I鈥檝e been dutifully isolated in my studio apartment since March. Over the last six months, I鈥檝e completed an advanced degree, bought a car to expand the radius I can explore safely, signed a lease on a one-bedroom apartment since it appears I鈥檒l be isolated at home for the foreseeable future, and studied for a professional licensure exam. All of those have been exciting, and I鈥檓 so grateful for the opportunities and privileges that they represent, but it鈥檚 also been very hard to do all of that alone. Now, the biggest exam of my life is almost here and I desperately need something to look forward to afterwards. Usually, I鈥檓 happy to plan an adventure on my own and have gone on many solo vacations, hikes, and camping trips with just my dog. A couple of years ago I even flew to the west coast on my own to go downhill skiing for the first time. I truly don鈥檛 mind taking a solo adventure, but the last thing I want to do right now is schedule more time to be alone. I鈥檝e asked friends if they鈥檇 like to plan a safe weekend trip together this fall, but none of them have been particularly interested. I鈥檓 the only one of my friends who lives alone, doesn鈥檛 have a significant other, and isn鈥檛 close with their family. I know spending time outside will be good for my mental health and be a welcome respite after the last few months, but I鈥檓 having a hard time getting excited about any plans. I鈥檓 worried I鈥檒l end up cold and miserable, sitting alone in the woods and unable to enjoy the experience. Am I looking at this totally wrong? Are there outdoor activities I鈥檓 not considering that I could try out safely on my own?
How do you feel about finding a partner to hike the Grand Canyon rim to rim, at least once it鈥檚 safe to do so? Tough Love has never been a matchmaking service before, but just saying, I have both your email addresses. Hit me up.
It sounds like you鈥檝e spent the past months as an absolute model of pandemic productivity and self-awareness, and your sense of adventure and can-do attitude are freaking awesome. And also,听wow,听this time is hard. I鈥檓 amazed by you, and I鈥檓 also sorry that you鈥檝e had to do all this alone.
As for something to look forward to this winter: you mentioned having a dog, and you mentioned being cold, and I think you should lean into both those things. You should go mushing.
Depending on where you live, it might not look like the kind of mushing most people picture, with huskies and a wooden sled (although dogsled tours are actually a fairly viable option for social distancing). But if your dog likes to pull their leash, you can get them a harness and teach them to pull on cue鈥攚hether they鈥檙e pulling you on a scooter, bike, cross-country skis, or even on foot. And if your dog doesn鈥檛 like to pull, you can still plan a trip based on what you and your dog would have fun doing together. I鈥檓 not saying you should plan an extravagant outdoor adventure听for your dog,听and then bring yourself along for the ride, but I鈥檓 not听not听saying that, either.
Whatever you end up planning, I鈥檇 recommend finding a way to document it. Keeping a journal, taking photos or videos, or making art about your adventure can make it less lonely, even if no one鈥檚 with you at the time. And someday you鈥檒l be able to share those records with whoever you want鈥攚hether it鈥檚 friends, family, or your future self.听