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What would it mean to focus on the process of living?
What would it mean to focus on the process of living? (Photo: Eric Ward/Unsplash)

The Dark Horse Path to Happiness

There's a lot to learn about the good life from sommeliers and hot-air-balloon pilots

Published: 
What would it mean to focus on the process of living?
(Photo: Eric Ward/Unsplash)

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A common maxim in the world of peak performance is 鈥減rocess over outcome.鈥 It means that you shouldn鈥檛 worry about the outcomes of your efforts, which are generally subject to all sorts of factors outside your control. Instead, you should focus on your efforts themselves, on executing a process. If you nail your inputs over and over again, the results tend to take care of themselves.

It鈥檚 somewhat easy to see how this mindset manifests in a specific activity. If you鈥檙e a runner, for example, you should听concentrate on your training, sleep, and nutrition, all of which you can听control. It doesn鈥檛 make sense to worry about your race time, which is subject to things you听肠补苍鈥檛听control听such as course conditions or cramping. But how might this play out on a far broader scale? Let鈥檚 say the outcome you desire is a good, fulfilling life. What would it mean to focus on the process of living?

Identify What Matters Most to You, Even If It Means Going Against the Grain

A good place to start is the听, a long-term study out of Harvard University that explores how men and women across diverse and often unusual fields鈥攆rom musicians to dog trainers to sommeliers to air-balloon pilots鈥攄evelop unique processes to achieve their own personal versions of fulfillment and life satisfaction. The findings, which were recently published in the book听, written听by human-development researcher Todd Rose and neuroscientist Ogi Ogas, center around two major themes followed by听people who chart untraditional paths to good lives (affectionately called dark horses): they focus on accomplishing the things that matter most to them, and they don鈥檛 compare themselves to others or conventional definitions of success.

鈥淭he first thing is actually knowing yourself,鈥澨. 鈥淔or most of us, when we think about who we are, we often talk about what we鈥檙e good at or the job we do鈥.What we found in dark horses is that they focus incredibly on what matters to them and what motivates them and use that as a basis for their identity. And I think when you anchor around what truly motivates you, that is getting you on the path of fulfillment.鈥

Importantly, these people also don鈥檛 worry about what others think of them. 鈥淲hen we were studying all these dark horses, [I thought] they were probably like Richard Branson personalities or Steve Jobs: 鈥榃ho cares what people think of me?鈥欌 said Rose. 鈥淏ut it鈥檚 actually not true. Dark horses just care deeply about the pursuit of fulfillment. And if you live in a standardized world, that鈥檚 going to take you off the beaten path more times than not.鈥澨齀n other words: it鈥檚 not that dark horses are rebellious for the sake of being rebellious; it鈥檚 just that they care so much about their work and their values听that they don鈥檛 take鈥攐r as they鈥檇 probably say, waste鈥攎uch听time or energy paying attention to what others think. They do their work, and live their lives, because it is right to them.

Make a Practice Out of Living Your Values

Knowing what matters most to you and having the courage to pursue it is a good start, but it鈥檚 not enough. You鈥檝e got to act on those values听over and over again. In the听 of philosopher Terry Patten, you鈥檝e got to 鈥渕ake a practice鈥 out of living.

In his latest book,听, Patten writes that life satisfaction is a byproduct of transitioning from being a seeker, or someone who wants a certain lifestyle, to a practitioner, or someone who lives that lifestyle day in and day out. 鈥淧ractice,鈥 Patten writes, 鈥渋s about waking up again and again, and choosing to show up in life in alignment with one鈥檚 highest intelligence,鈥 or what matters most.

Unfortunately, there is no quick fix. 鈥淎 whole life of regular, ongoing practice is necessary,鈥 writes Patten. 鈥淲e are always reinforcing the neural circuits associated with what we are doing. Whatever way we are being, we鈥檙e more likely to be that way in the future. This means we are always practicing something.鈥 It behooves us to live more and more of our lives taking actions that are in alignment with our core values鈥攖o make a practice out of living.

Though this may mean a change in lifestyle, it doesn鈥檛 necessarily require a complete upheaval. According to听Dark HorseProjectresearch, a common trap is that people focus too narrowly. 鈥淭hey think their job is going to bring them all this fulfillment when in fact what they really had to focus on was better connection with family, improved social life, new hobbies, things like that,鈥 said Rose.

Apply a Process of听Outcome Mindset to Your Own Life

  • Reflect on what motivates you. Try to come up with three to five core values听or things that matter most to you, the guiding principles in your life.
  • Think about how you can turn these core values into daily practices. What actions work in service of your core values? How can you adjust your life to ensure you are taking these actions regularly? How can you incorporate these actions into your current routines? How will you measure whether or not you鈥檙e taking them?
  • Whenever you find yourself seeking, or wanting a certain outcome out of life, note what you鈥檙e doing and then refocus on practicing your core values. 鈥淲hen it comes, happiness is most often caused indirectly,鈥 writes Patten. It鈥檚 the result of repeatedly practicing the actions that work in service of your core values, a lifestyle that compounds with consistency and over time.

Brad Stulberg () writes 国产吃瓜黑料鈥檚 Do It Better column and is the author of the bestselling book .

Lead Photo: Eric Ward/Unsplash

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